Honestly, me either. I don't care about much right now but strangely I am reaching out to try to comfort a stranger on the internet...because I know your pain and I know how f**king awful it is and I don't want you to have to feel that way even though I don't know you at all. What that tells me is that there is still compassion in the world. There is still love. And that gives me a tiny bit of hope. My job is to take that bit of hope and nurture it and help it grow until it makes me strong enough to face the world. Good luck friend.

We all have different things that give us a reason for going on; sometimes they don't work for us, but we have to keep trying.

I find that sometimes when my life is too "cluttered up" I tank. So cleaning up my life helps, sometimes it is enough all by itself.

So, I tidy up my space, throw the trash out, do the laundry, wash the dishes, make sure I take a shower, stuff like that. Then it seems easier to focus on working and doing the things I have to do to stay alive.

Welcome to the group, and I hope you find what you need here!

Gentle hugs

Life is difficult and can seem pointless and all our efforts futile, but we are better than these thoughts and feelings that attach themselves to us bringing us greater depths. We can rise above the negativity by focusing on something that helps us feel better, like pepperman suggested; cleaning your space, taking a shower, going for a walk.
I don't know you, but I want you to feel supported and valued and to realize that every step taken will make a difference. Hang on in there..

For me, it must have been a long time since I had a reason (if there ever was one beyond waking up and being unable to do anything about it). I don't even know what it would take at this point. Every day seems so arbitrary and worthless.

lol. How old are you Pulse? Have you ever worked before?

Life can be very daunting when you're young, looking forward at all this terrifying stuff you have to do to succeed. If a person didn't have a lot of confidence, they could easily feel they'd never win so they won't even try....

But actual life is easy. Actual life is like falling in a swimming pool and discovering you love it, splashing about in that fantastic cool water.

Actual life is worth it, and a lot of fun. And not very hard at all.

When you have never done something, it's huge. It looms in front of you. Once you have achieved it, through trying and trying and trying again, and you get it - then woah. That was easy. What was my problem? You laugh, and immediately forget how hard it was. :D and then turn around and look at the next hurdle.

As you get older you stop doing it this way because you see the pattern and the foolishness. You go in, knowing it will be easy if you get the knack. You ask around for ideas. You make the task easy. And then when you have done it, you relax and enjoy it for a while. And then you turn to the next task and ask around about it, and see what others have done... no point reinventing the wheel.

So go get yourself a job at macdonalds or KFC or whatever. Learn what it offers. Get something on your CV. It doesn't even matter if that's a crap job. It doesn't matter at all. Get it, do it, spend the money and enjoy.

This will help to change your attitude. :)

I'm 29, so it's kind of extra terrible that my only adulthood experience has been working a couple of temporary jobs for a few months. I've already missed out on everything and there's not much indication of that changing. The job search process alone is awful and always makes me feel terrible. I'm lucky if I get a response, and then of course because of bad anxiety and lack of skills I fail anyway. Not that I'd find working a minimum wage job (which seems to be above my skill level) likely to do anything but make me feel worse, so it's kind of a gun to the head. They've got me in school, but I despise school. After the first time through I said I was never going back and yet here I am, racking up debt. I had a dream about this last night, even. In addition, I'm not even thrilled about the field that it gives me the tiniest of chances of entering.

Life is easy? Worth it? When? I'm not even a great swimmer... it never seems to get any easier for me. Then I figure that one of those disappointing jobs flipping burgers (that I'd end up failing at, due to incompetence if not from lack of social skills), is even worse than being on disability. I could work 40 hours like my mom and get paid LESS and be more miserable. If I could get hired in the first place.

And then what would I even spend the money on...? I'd stash it, because I know rent is due, and I need food, and my car's going to break down, and my mom's going to come begging me for another loan...