Things in my life started to look up for a change. I started living with my dad as my mom moved out of the state and this has helped me a lot to be less stressed and I feel like I'm in a safe environment now. Although as I moved to my dad's, I realized that I moved farther away from my friends. My female friend in particular helped me a lot to move past my last relationship and means a lot to me. With being busy with school and not being able to drive myself to see her, I began to feel lonely again. Over time we stayed in contact and I started to develop feelings for her. Although she had dated guys before, she mostly dates girls and says that she is gay. A few months ago i confessed to her and knowing she was gay i decided to tell her it was just to get it off my chest and asked her to forget about it. After almost a year of not seing her in person I met up with her tonight with a bunch of other people for a bonfire. The whole night made me feel terrible. It seemed like she was way more interested in talking to her other friends all night. It's pathetic but I started to feel really sad and really hoped that she would attempt to hang out more with me while there. Sadly that didn't really happen. And it made me feel terrible. Almost like I was sub-par to all her other friends. She asked as I was leaving why I looked like I wasent having fun but I couldn't tell her anything right there in front of everybody. I'm hope now and I can't even think straight. My heart hurts and I'm having trouble stopping that. I know she prefers girls and that most people might say to accept that, but it's not that simple. I have trouble getting over feeling like this and I really just don't know how to cope with it. I feel terrible.