You want use to do your homework?

You are in the very early days of CBT I know that is very challenging at first. But just go with the flow. Really no right or wrong answers as the therapist will work with you and your cognitive distortions

Try to put your true thoughts and feelings in the writing. You may also want to add some positive things about your life. This is not an easy task please let me know if I can help.

andrea

sweet friend , rewriting the negative self talk is quite an assignment 4 anyone in the throes of this daunting disease . there r no right or wrong answers , only those from your head 2 your heart .. if u have ever felt yourself beaming from the other side of depression include the awesomeness of the reawakening . we cannot push clinical depression away but we can fight it stronger then it fights us .. remember that u have that great strength over it because u r trying so hard ,. that strength is actually there because of the depression and u r constantly learning about the world in your struggles . when u r done or even as u r writing keep a list of all the true positives in your everyday life 2 remind yourself that u r blessed even thru & with this disease .. these r all just ideas . i m thinking of u with many prayers & hugs , knowing u will feel incredibly accomplished after this task . extra good luck & remember u arent being graded 4 your thoughts .. much fondness , starsunshine

As you know I am going through this too. My main one is "This is all my fault.". Cognitive therapy is hard to grab hold of and it will take us time. That thought is the same for me too, but its more like I hate feeling like this, why me. This could be me blaming my depression and myself. These thoughts to me happen and I don't always know their there because they have become so repetitive. Thanks for the post though it helped me to think more on my thoughts as well.

Please forgive the over simplified, maybe even"pat" answers but you did ask.
Although simple, it takes a lot of work to create new habits. I have not arrived, but I believe practice will result in learning new thought habits.
Our mind surely is the battlefield.

The premise is this: Any thought can be uprooted by any thought. You cannot think two things at the same time, it is consciously impossible. What you chose to substitute is up to you, what works for you.
As for me, I tend to "speak" these negative thoughts. So, prerequisite for me, is that I had to resist the urge to give physical life to my thoughts by speaking negatives out loud. I dont know why but saying a thing and speaking a thing are two different things. When I speak them out loud, it is like I am agreeing with myself....that these harmful thoughts are true and physically real.
And finally, substituting thoughts can get really repetitious...but never for very long. It always passes. Because sooner than later, life's demands will provide different things to think about.

A story:

An old Sioux warrior was telling his little nephew about two wolves that live inside each of us who are locked in combat for our whole lives. The little nephew asked: "but uncle, which one wins?"

The old uncle replied: "The one you feed."

You have a choice to think and write either negative or positive. You have, even when depression has its nasty grip on you, a choice about mental and physical action. Writhing hits depression with a douple whammy. You are thinking good thoughts, and you are expression them through the physical act of writing.

Depression, for me, has been a life long cycle of relapse and remission. I don't think I am cured, but I have been practicing my daily spiritual discipline for over 15 years. I have a long list of mental behaviors to watch for. I exercise, try to eat right, and I have a strong network of on line friends, and friends in Al Anon, AA, and CODA, with whom I am safe to share what is going on with me. I really do believe in this "community" thing. We get better together, or we get worse alone. We are built for relationship. DS is a pretty safe place to come and get stuff out. I practiced here with people whom I trusted, and eventually, I was face to face with the therapist who kind of showed me how to break the back of my depression. It takes time. Persist in your efforts. Come and share your story with us. You can see from the response to your post that we have a lot of levels of recovery to share with you. Just be sure to keep coming back!!!

that is a tough one. I don't know how much help this is, but i have been dealing with depression most of my life. it is a constant battle. sometimes i do not know which side will win.that does seem like a good idea. just 1 thing. 1 small thing can make a big difference.maybe not right away but later on it will. please keep us updated.

Keep your writing specific to theme that you stated at the beginning of your post, "I HATE MY LIFE!". You listed many of the positive things in your life, so you know that is NOT where your hatred is coming from. As your therapist has suggested, it is likely your depression, and the effects it has on your daily life that you hate. You just want it to be gone, and want to return to your life before depression walked in.
So address all of the things you hate, or are frustrated with in your life because of the depression. No reason to go on about the good things in your life. This assignment is about the negative themes as you stated, so write out everything you hate about depression. Don't try to sugar-coat this writing by jumping over to the good stuff. Just spew out all of your hatred in writing. I bet once you start this "list" you'll have a hard time stopping, and as you write I think you will get angry as the list grows longer and longer. You will be able to see first hand how many areas of your life have been affected by depression, and it will not be a pretty picture. However, getting these things all down on paper will show you, very concretely, how much you have been hurt.
Once you see that, you can begin to start working on how to heal. IMHO, BB

Thanks all for the time, thought and compasson u have put into your replies. I greatly appreciate it and u have given me a lot to think over. Its not that i want u to do my homework for u;) it just helps me to bounce my ideas off of knowledgeable people.

UPDATE:
In took BYZbee's suggestion, which my therapist had actually suggested too. Spend 20 min listing all the reasons why i hate my life. Tried not to censor myself and just let the ideas flow. It was an intense exercise and I was crying by the end of it, but It actually felt really cathartic to get that all out on paper, and then be able to close my journal and not think about it anymore.
Also, I have come up with some more ideas for "rewriting" those negative thoughts, and am gunna try it out and see how it feels.
Thanks again for all your support. U guys are the greatest!

Catharsis

Ummmmmm.... Cathartic is a word also. Trust me, I'm a teacherp

Yo, AK! So you're a teacherp? Too funny! ! !
But seriously, catharsis, only serves to rehearse and so makes you feel worse, not better. I'll bet as you wrote out your list you did not feel better as you poured out your soul, rather I would bet you felt pretty darn crummy.
But the writing was a beginning. The next step is to DO something with the list, like work on each of the items that you have now brought to light. I am guessing that the purpose of this homework assignment was to generate the list, take it back to your therapist, as you said you would, then begin discussing how to handle each item on the list. Dealing with problems helps you to heal, not just saying them, thinking them or writing them out. That simply increases you distress. Good start, now move forward.
Take care, BB

Ya'll are still doubting me, huh? Yes i am a "TEACHER" (pardon my typo, i was using my phone at the time) certified and endorsed to teack K-8. Director of Education at a Learning Center comprised of 350 kids, and I teach grammar and SAT verbal prep which includes a lot of this vocabulary.
Merriam Webster's definition of Catharsis. 2a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
Merriam Webster's definition of Cathartic
: of, relating to, or producing catharsis

And yes, it was CATHARTIC in that it helped me to purify and purge and release some tension, it was a cathartic experience.

I hate my life.... evidently it came from somewhere.....is there some aspect no matter how small that maybe making you m iserable that you are unaware of?
Or do you remember someone in your life you grew up with or was near and around that you kept hearing that come out of their mouth? I hate my life....does it just come in your head when you are having to deal with something unpleasant at that instant, or some mundane chore you would rather not be doing at the time and your mind starts I hate my life..I hate my life Does it help you to take your mind off of something that you would rather not be doing at that time of day?