Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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marshie 12/29/2015

I have suffered depression for over 30 years in differing measures. My doctor has only ever offered anti depressants so I have gone on alone.

I feel like no one likes me when they meet me so I feel isolated and very lonely. I do not form friendships easily and the ones I do I let go very easily so I literally have only one remaining friend which I know is very sad and not the norm. So that sums me up I don`t feel normal I look around me and wish I was different. Relationships have always been short lived so I have always been single. I have sent most my life making plans to change but I always fall back into the same routine of spending my time alone but feeling so lonely. I have one son who I brought up alone - he left for university this year and I am not copying well with his departure. The empty nest is a new low and although he just visited for Christmas I feel worse right now than I did when he first left. I assumed the empty nest would pass quite quickly as I had read on many sites. But I miss him and although I know he loves me he rarely contacts me and right now I couldn't feel any worse. I really cant see a light at the end of the tunnel and everything feels pointless. I have already tried on two occasions to contact him but I am not getting a response which is unfortunately quite usual and very upsetting. I have once again made a lot of mental plans to improve my live now hes gone but I'm scared I will fail again and spend my days longing for friendship and love but never being able to reach for them. What next?

ThePepperMan 12/29/2015

It has been a long time since I was in college (I'm 62 years old), but I do remember being very busy, and contacting my parents was not something I was especially good at.

But my parents had my sister, and they had each other. So I guess that made the empty nest syndrome easier for them.

It is good to make plans to get better. I think the key is to make plans that do not rely on the active participation from others as a key element to the plan. For example, spending more time with your son will make you happy, but with him in Uni it is not likely to happen.

How about taking a class just for you? Cooking, art, music appreciation, welding, gardening, nuclear science, what ever strikes your fancy.

I think that the more busy we keep ourselves, especially if it involves other people, the more likely we are to find new friendships.

And friendships can turn into love.

Gentle hugs.

darkchocolatepie 12/29/2015

Sometimes I don't feel like people like me when they meet me too. I understand about that feeling. I think because I feel that way sometimes I say the wrong things that kind of make that happen.

I had a hard time when my first went to college. I'm sorry you're alone now, that's really rough. I hope it helps to come here and talk to people who understand even though it's not the same. I hope when he gets adjusted better to school he'll contact you more regularly.

keep talking, keep busy- it sounds like it isn't enough but it does help, going through those motions. I agree with Pepperman about not including others in the plans because you might end up disappointed and give up the plan. It's not easy but a day by day step by step kind of thing seems to work better for me than huge goals and steps

Carolynl 12/29/2015

I hear you, I dont seem to make friends. My husband just passed away and although I was overwhelmed by the support from friends they were his friends. I've always been the one standing alone at parties or functions unless there was s conversation about dogs. Seems that's one of my only interests that I can get in a conversation about, unless it's a controversial subject like dog food or vaccines. I had to learn to keep my opinions to myself.
I try to keep busy to keep myself from slipping into a dark place. It's not easy when you spend most of your time alone.

bridgie101 12/29/2015

I had depression most of my life and it was only with the medication that I found out how the other half lives. Without the obsessing and overthinking, I could start to learn what normal people think about and do.

So this could be why your doctor offers medication. It is a really useful tool to find out how normal people are inside themselves.

The other thing is counselling. I got an enormous amount out of counselling. Every little woe I could take to someone I trusted and he helped me through it all.

My son is hopeless at communication: he's the kind of guy who is there when he's there - and not there when he's not. Not one for social media, not a lot of chances to connect. I think it's a guy thing. I had a rotten time when he left as well.

I think going to see the doctor, asking for a referral to a counsellor, trying a few counsellors till you meet one you can feel good with, and going on from there will be a really good idea for you. If you need medication, you and your counsellor can figure that out together. But you need an advocate who understands and who can help you through the process of getting back up on your feet. :)

lowtidebeach 12/29/2015

It could be a trillion times worst.

lowtidebeach 12/29/2015

Maybe the reason your son doesn't answer your calls every time is because maybe they make him feel guilty?

marshie 12/30/2015

Thank you for all your kind words. It helps to know when you find the strength to reach out people will listen.

I have always know I need therapy but my doctor has never offered me it and I think I do not push for it for self esteem issues and lack of confidence/assertiveness. I have also only tried medication once but I did not stick with it. Can I ask has the medication been useful for all of you do you think it could help me? I will try my doctors again and see if I can push for therapy - thank you all

Heidiclark 12/31/2015

You won't know if medication will work for you or not until you try it. For some people it's life changing.

bridgie101 12/31/2015

The first time I got medication, I went off it cold turkey, and was not getting counselling. This was a giant mistake. The GP prescribing did not understand the consequences of me going cold turkey and there was nothing in his filing system that alerted him when someone did NOT want more pills.

The second time, I got a counsellor first, and did not want medication. I got talked into the medication eventually by the counsellor because in my circumstances it was a good idea. I eventually did it and yes, was very grateful. It took a bit of fluffing around to find out exactly what pills worked best for me too.

I am now coming out the other side of the whole ordeal. I think if you follow your nose, go for what you need most, and just keep plugging that will be a good idea. if you feel you need counselling then keep on plugging till you get a counsellor that you can talk to and who can understand you. When you have this, you have a starting point for someone who can lead you through whatever it is you need to do to get better.

:)

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