Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I got adjusted to having this strong mentality where I wouldn't let anything get to me. After having a 10 year relationship break into pieces. I had built a solid mentality. Don't cry over spilt milk or something that not worth fighting for. The fact is being in a 10 year relationship was everything that I knew. People mentioning to me I could get with someone better and not having to worry about someone who was abusive. I just feel like where do you begin to let go. Your mind is set to move on but your heart refuses to let go. I am losing touch with reality where I don't even know what day it is and its affecting everyone around me and my job. I just feel like I'm letting myself down. I go to work I come home to my parents house which I currently stay because my mother in law had planted seeds in my relationship planning to take over and get rid of mes which she did. A woman who had abandoned her kids and wanted to show up 20 something years later and say I need ppl to take care of me. Such a shame there are ppl like that in the world. Any who. It sucks I can't stay focused enough having adhd and being in a car accident 2years ago. It doesn't help but feel like your a failure ppl looking down on you like your stupid your attention span is the size of a rice. How did I become so lost after putting all that effort into having such a strong mentality that no one was going to break you down into everything is crumbling and falling apart and all you wanna do is hide in a ditch somewhere.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
Here's the kicker....the heart and the mind operate on 2 totally different time tables and in 2 totally different ways. Yes you can program your mind to not think of your ex, you can breakdown the abusive situations and figure out why you stayed and determine that you won't do that again. You can dissect your partner, do his pro's and con's; and come up with a larger "con list" and realize that the relationship was broken and breaking up was the thing to do. The mind is good at doing all of those things.
The problem is, the heart is not. The heart reminds you that you were with this person for 10 years because you loved him and thought you guys had a future together. The heart helps you gloss over the abuse and find ridiculous excuses for why it happened. The heart doesn't do "Pro's and Con's" list, it just sees all the good things about your ex that you loved and doesn't let you forget them. The heart doesn't like to let go, it doesn't like to be lonely, it doesn't like to have to go through the pain and hassle of dating again and falling for someone new.
So there's only one thing you can do, tell your Heart to shut up and listen to your mind and common sense. You safely got out of a long term, abusive relationship, that is a very good thing. There are plenty of good, decent, caring men out there, who won't hurt you. You just need to take sometime with yourself, learning how to like/love you again as a single person. You need to understand that you can be just fine without a guy.
Breaking up after a long relationship is difficult, I do get that, I left my ex after 26 years together. It was hard at first but then it got nice, not having to take care of a man 24/7, not having to be on anyone's schedule. My house staying clean all the time, because the slob wasn't there anymore. Being able to Focus on my job and not having to worry about how to pay the bills, because my ex couldn't hold a job and I had to make the money. But by the time we were divorced I was only allowed to work part-time due to several chronic medical illnesses, and it was great, I did just fine on my own. I didn't have to cook if I didn't want to, didn't have to constantly remind someone else of appointments and meetings because he drank so much everyday his brain was pickled.
Just being on your own for a while, getting back on your feet, saving up and and getting back to your own place, concentrating on work, working out at a gym, or walking long walks or jogging 3 - 4 nights a week....those are all things that can put your ex out of your head and get you back to yourself. There are relaxation exercises and coping skills for the ADHD you can learn, and it wouldn't hurt to see a Counselor or Therapist if you're not already, so you have someone to talk to who is totally unbiased in the situation. Also going out with your friends once in a while and just having fun can help quite a bit. There are many things you can do to get your life back on rack without memories of your ex constantly interfering.....you just have to make the effort and do them. It won't be easy at first, but you can do it.
Take care,