Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Quarantined with Parents

tiredgirl25
tiredgirl25

I've been in quarantine with my parents for about two months now and am beginning to find it extremely difficult. My parents' marriage has been over for a long time now. Deep down they have love for each other but are no longer in love, and barely speak. Ive questioned why they havent separated but continually get told that there's so much more that goes into it that I dont know, and now due to corona virus, they cant divorce. I feel caught in the middle, trying to make peace between them when that's not my role. But since none of us can go out anywhere I just want some kind of calm in the house instead of constant tension. I am in search of a job and hoping to move out soon, but am concerned for how my parents will get along if/when I leave. I know at a certain point I need to move on and live my own life but its hard when I love them both very much and just want them to be happy. Im not sure if theres another support group more specific to this topic, but I needed to get it out somewhere. I feel emotionally exhausted and hopeless, as I cant change my parents or their behavior and quarantine is likely to go on for awhile.

veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Please know it is not your job to keep the family stable or to try to smooth things over so they don't feel so bad. I know it may be hard, but try to focus on YOU and what you want. So many of us here did waste some of our lives trying to care for and fix the family.( And ironically, we often fall into some of the same pitfalls in our relationships as our parents did if we don't ever come to understand if there was some dysfunction.. For me there was , but I would come to learn and understand it. Unfortunately I would also marry a man just as unhealthy and be in an unhappy marriage for the last 12 of a 17 year marriage.

Eventually they will do something about their situation if they are unhappy enough... if not, there is nothing YOU can do, They need to do it for themselves. All you can do is love them and let them know you care-- about BOTH of them.

Hugs, Kim
eli_mom
eli_mom
Hello,
I’m so sorry to hear that this is happening in your family.
I understand that it’s hard because I've been there. I love my parents and it hurt me so much to see them not getting along well. My parents used to fight most of the time but I thank God that they were able to overcome it.

I pray that there will be peace and restoration in your parent’s marriage. Keep us posted. God bless.
Lavender80
Lavender80
Good advice above. Their relationship is not your responsibility to save. It's hard being the peace keeper. Instead...how about just spending some onon one time with each parent separately. To reconfirm that you still have a strong relationship with each one of them, despite them being divorced.