Not everyone comes here with good pure intentions. That can cause devastating things for a person with depression. There are LOTS of wonderful people here but it only takes one bad apple to spoil the barrel.

@Menelaus - guess it just wouldn't bother me; I'd either allow the proactive aggressive side of my depression loose and put them on blast or just ignore it...

Yes, this is still the internet. Same rules apply as far as safety goes.

You can send messages to someone private. Go to "My Messages", and at the top left, over the user names you have been messaging ("from"), it should say "Send Message". Click that, and type in the username to whom you want to send a message.

I would have said the same thing once upon a time too.... you just asked why- and that IS why. Hopefully your experience is different and you never have to truly understand why.

You can still send a message to someone who has a private profile. Go to your message page. Click send a message. Then write in the name of the ID of the person you would like to send a message to. It will go to them. You can send a message to anyone on DS as long as they have not put you on ignore.

Go ahead try. Send a message to me for practice.

My privacy has more to so with other general search engines that are not prevented from picking up information on my profile by simply having mine on DS members only. Only Google and Yahoo are blocked with that setting. I also do not want others to see which member groups I frequent or who my friends are because there are people here I do not like and I don't want to be pestered or my friends pestered.

I think some people use this place more like a "facebook" which is not wrong at all. What I mean is they just speak to there friends and tight circle, and may only reply from time to time to a thread...

HUGS

The reason I have my profile on private is because if someone I know in real life happens to have a profile on here, they will be able to see my profile and there is enough info on my profile for them to at least suspect that it is me. And I share feelings on here that I wouldn't necessarily want people I know in real life to find out about. Idk, I just feel like they might judge me.

I have my real photos on private, but the main thing that would give me away is the fact that I am using my actual first name; it is not a very common name, so I think it along with my age and some info I have in my about me would do it at least raise suspicions. I would change my screen name, but I have had this for a long time and I'm afraid it might confuse some of my friends whom I haven't talked to in a while.

I really do wish I could make my profile open to everyone on here to see, because I am always open to new friends.

I didn't know you could send a message to people who are private! Yeah when they hug me I really want to hug them back but can't, personal choice though, I doubt anyone in my world would know this is me as I don't put any personal stuff up, I will say it to people but not on my profile

There are 3 different levels of 'privacy'. To each their own, but I prefer DS ONLY.

This keeps my profile OFF of Google etc .. yet allows me contact from any DS member.

The next setting (up) is FRIENDS ONLY. No google finds .. and only people on your friend list.

Next up .. ONLY ME.

I toggle back and forth between private and not. Depends on my mood and how vulnerable I'm feeling. And whether or not I feel like having someone size me up.

@WV - keeping privacy setting on DS makes sense...

All it takes is a friend request and most of us will let you in. I went for years with mine open and feeling the same way as you...however, I am a proud granny and love to show off pictures of them. They found a prevert on here and I decided to close my profile. Posting on the board more helps us get to know you and trust you more.

Participating in discussions is the best way for people to get a feel for who you are.

SO MUCH has gone down here in the 4 years I've been here, that it would take a few days' writing just to outline all of it. Trust me, there are VERY GOOD and sound reasons why people keep their accounts set to varying degrees of privacy!

Ephemerally said it best for me.

i guess i keep mine open because I feel like the worst has already been done to me on this site anyways at one time.
also, noone can hurt me that I have not already been hurt on this site anyways... i've had it done to me here
of course i don't just talk about others. Im pranky at times too and say things to ppl that upset them.
either way. just do what suits you best.

Well there are days - no, moments - I feel like there is nothing in this world that can hurt me now.

I'm not a stable person. I live in extremes. So the moments where I'm *not* feeling like a badass...... I'm just lost.

In those moments I can barely maintain relationships with people I deeply care for and TRUST. Opening up myself to people who have absolutely no reason to respect or regard my feelings is not always something I'm comfortable with.

Catch me on a good day though, and I'll run with the bulls :P