Depression Support Group

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Pregnant and depressed

Friend19
Friend19

I found out I was pregnant recently, and my boyfriend of over 2 years just left. He told me he really wanted to grow old with me, but never wanted kids, or if he did, much later in life. With the symptons of this pregnancy, and my depression, I really am finding it hard to even function. I have no apitite, and I can't stop crying. I lived with him for most of this time, and I hate the idea of going home to a empty house. I keep thinking about all the places we went to togther, and I swear I can still hear his voice in my head calling me "Oh love of mine". It's all gone now. I feel humiliated, and embarrased, and I scared of people noticing when my belly starts to show, and asking me questions about the father. I don't know what to do. He took all the friends with him, and I'm so alone. He gets all the support, and coddling of his friends, and I got nothing but a empty house, and phone that never rings.



HUGS

Sworddancer68
Sworddancer68
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Quite frankly, he's an asshole. Please take care of yourself and your baby. You are obviously stuck in severe grief right now. There is a Breakups and Divorce forum on DS if you are interested in support there regarding the breakup. Do you have a therapist to talk to? If not, you might consider a counselor to help you get through this since you are isolated. I do feel for you. I can't imagine the hell you are going through and I send hugs and prayers it gets better soon.
lighttheway
lighttheway
He sounds awful.Who would leave their gf because shes pregnant with his child.ugh.Your house wont be empty for long.You will have a beautiful child.he may even change his mind and come back.He might just be reacting to the initial shock. take care of yourself and try to be strong hugs..
Friend19
Friend19
He says I'm stupid for wanting to keep "it", and it doesn't even exist, but he hates it already. He says he loves me, but hates whats inside of me. He told me because his dad left him, he never wanted kids. He says he is confused about why I feel I want the baby, but I'm confused by how someone could loath their own father for abandoning them, and then do the same to your own child. He gets angry at me, and tries to tell me to get a abortion. But then he cries, and says why am I doing this to him. I feel so sick, and gross. When he told me he was going to start seeing other woman, I started to cry more, and he asked why. ..I told him the idea of being pregnant and alone, while the man I still love is with other woman hurts me. His response was something about how I have weird views on sex.
lighttheway
lighttheway
he sounds very emotionally abusive.you might need to distance yourself in order to be healthy for you and your baby.Who knows,he may have left anyways for another reason soon.Dont let him mess with your head.you need to surround yourself with caring,positive people right now.Its a time to be happy!..
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
I agree that the focus now should be on you and your baby. Try to love what's happening to you. Read pregnancy books. Talk to other soon to be moms. Start planning for the future. Do you have friends or family you can reach out to for support? And of course you can always come here to share what's going on. We welcome you here and welcome your baby.
Friend19
Friend19
My parents are happy to have a grand baby soon, so I have them. That is all. I used to have a D&D group, and other people through activities, but like I said they are backing him, and abandoning me as well.
Minidogs2
Minidogs2
Sorry for your terrible situation. Please stop all contact with him if you want to go forward with the best for you and your baby. Draw on the support of your parents and build new friendships. Check with DivorceCare groups in your area. Ask if you can attend due to your breakup since the issues are similar. Being with others for support and understanding is very important. Check with your doctor about dealing with depression and a site like webmd.com. Therapy would be very helpful at this time.
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
he sounds ...very ....munitimlitiv.....who knowes what he has told your friends ....to have them take his side ........what ever it is it isent the truth .....and not what he told you .......I think you are far better with out him ........he sounds like he can be very abusive .....twisting things around ...and making you feel bad about things he schould be feeling bad about ...he has no remorse ................I am happy that you have your loving parents .....for suport ......think of your child ....love your child ....I know you do but I mean ..instead of thinking of the father try to think of ....the beautiful gift you are going to be given when that baby comes ..........and who cares what people think ...if they can't be happy for you ..and congratulat you on the beautiful baby and being pregnant you don't need them in your life .............I know what it is like to have a baby and be on your Owen ..my first h left me and I had just found out I was pregnant ...and till this day he sayes my son isent his .....and that is just fine with me ..because the husband I have now has been a better father ..to both of my sons ....than he ever could of been .......he never did see them .........only our oldest ....a few times .......and ..I was feeling like you .......I was depressed .....it was like a worlwind overm ....how was I going to do this alone ..but I had loving parents to and they helped me to ....you can do this ......and when you see that little baby for the first time you will....fall in love ......take very good care of your self ..for you and for your baby ......I will keep you in my prayers .....God bless ......
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Concerning the unwanted pregnancy, you have 3 choices......and none of them are very good. I hope you can talk to a parent or counselor to help you make the best choice for you, so that you won't be looking back on your life years from now, wishing you made a different decision. Please be 100 percent sure with whatever you decide and in the meantime, I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers,

God Bless
billwfriend
billwfriend
make sure he has to pay child support by having him take paternity test....then have court order him to pay...
Depressediris
Depressediris
That is horrible. I am so sorry that he did that. I know I don't know you but you deserve better. If a man can have sex with a woman he can stay when /if she gets pregnant. I agree with Bill Get a child support case set up. I have been in relationships where friends leave when the man does and they aren't real friends.

have you thought about finding a support group for single moms in your area ? if they have one it might help to meet friends and find other people in similar situations to talk to about it all.
Katy
Katy
I am so sorry he left you. I have been there and it is so hard to be pregnant and alone. Try to focus on your baby and being healthy. Years from now you will look back and be realize it was the best thing for you. I thought being alone was the worse thing in the world until I found out my third child was sick with spina bifida and had to deal with losing her. I would give anything to have her here with me now. So try to focus on having a healthy baby. I'm not sure if this is your first child but if it is you will realize there is nothing more precious than that little baby. There is no greater love than mother and child.
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