I hear what you are saying. It is so very sad to see people with destructive habits, be it eating too much, too little, too "the wrong things", alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.

I don't think that your friend has the will to not eat; I think she has a treatable mental condition that expresses itself in an eating disorder.

are you speaking from experience?

I don't think you fully understand eating disorders. It's an illness...a real and serious illness. It's not just about caring too much about how you look and that's the most important thing to you, it's about obsessive, compulsive and intrusive thoughts that you can't block out. You try but you can't block it out. So you think, maybe if I just do the things my brain is telling me to do, I'll get some peace then..,well you do for a tiny weeny bit...but then it's there...waiting in the wings. It's a real battle to not act on those thoughts, to somehow ignore the compulsion. It's a really hard thing to live with.

So, I'm terribly sorry if a persons horrific struggle depresses you. That's terrible for you.

i have been dignosed with depression and anxiety and graves disease, so believe me when i say i know what a struggle is. i dont take it out on ppl and i am not as selfish in my decisions as she is. i know society says its a mental disorder and ppl struggle, but at the end of the day it all boils down to choice. you are in control of the choice you make, dont try and justify why a person chooses to destroy themselves and the ppl around them with "if I just do the things my brain is telling me to do" cause every decision is about either doing what your brain is telling you to do or not.

depression and anxiety are based on that. i choose to do what i do and react the way i do, i am CONSCIOUS of the decisions i make, even when they are instinctual. i'm not blind to the fact that i have irrational thoughts when a panic attack comes along, and i know when i am hurting someone else. i make the choice to either be selfish about it (and make it everyone elses problem) , or suffer on my own.

i've seen it first hand. how her family gave up on her ages ago, cause she is an adult and she can make her own decisions. as can we all.

i'll give kids some slack cause they dont know what life is. but adults have no excuse for their actions.

"So, I'm terribly sorry if a persons horrific struggle depresses you. That's terrible for you." its sad that you dont see the other side of the coin.

I think anorexia is a form of OCD which is to say, compulsive thought.

you feel she is in control and feel she is being manipulative and controlling. Well people with anxiety spectrum disorders are controlling. It's a compulsion and it's a response to panic chemicals. I've had to learn not to be controlling as part of solving my anxiety disorder.

The food challenge: anorexia medically means no urge to eat. Anorexia nervosa means no urge to eat, and the reason is psychological.

Not eating has actually been linked to a reduction in panic, so self-soothing by starvation is a thing that gets results.

But the bit you have to factor in Caylin, that you can't see from where you sit, is the overwhelming sense of terror she will be living with daily, hourly. The boogie monster making her not eat. She will never admit it to you, she may not be able to vocalise what it is.

Let's hope she can find her way through this. :)

we all struggle, its called life. no ones life is a bed of roses. i've been told to suck it up and get over it, and if you have anxiety or depression, thats like a slap in the face, making one feel like their problem or feelings mean nothing. it hurts more than taking a knife and making ones self bleed. i try to justify things, but at the end of the day, ocd, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, all of it boils down to choice.

you may think and feel like you have no control, but if that was the case, then there wouldnt be treatment. if there was no hope of moving on, there wouldnt be drugs to help, to alter ones brain chemicals, to mask the internal turmoil. there wouldnt be therapy, there would just be a dead end, sorry for you slap on the wrists and good bye, like for terminal patients. but its not the case.

no one is holding a gun to their heads, despite feeling that way. there is always a choice. i never said it would be an easy choice, but there is always the choice.

so @thelaststanding, we're just going to have to agree to disagree.

Catlyn, you are correct. SELF RESPONSABILTY IS THE ONLY DECENT CHOICE TO MAKE!

Caylyn, what's your dog in this fight? you seem very invested.

You don't have to judge all anorexics to ditch this friend of yours. just go ahead and ditch her. No need to justify it to anybody.

I'm not certain I completely understand, but I'll offer some help with what I do understand. As someone with an eating disorder, try explaining how you feel to her, that her health is more important than anything else. Try not to abandon her, but keep an eye out for your health as well.