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Positivity is key

2_Stars_But_No_Light
2_Stars_But_No_Light

Lately my friends and religious leaders have been pressuring me to do stuff that I wouldn’t say is fun in the slightest.


I would just say no but I can’t I’m way to “nice” of a person to say that, and it bothers me that I’m getting so many requests and assignments, my life feels heavy on my shoulders.


My friends say things to my religious leaders in front of the group to volunteer me to do something and then the “spotlight” is pointed towards me, so if I say no I look heartless, and if I say yes I’m doing something that nobody else wants to do (including me). 


What do I do? I can try avoiding my religion, but I’ll look like I’m inactive or need conversion.


I feel stuck and taken advantage of.


PS. I know this is technically supposed to be in Anxiety but it’s like a ghost town there.

OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Conversion...really? Are we talking religion or a cult? Everyone has a limit as to the amount of activity they can do and everyone is free to set their own limit. You have the right to say "No" to whatever you like. Why don't you put the shoe on the other foot and start planning your so-called friends lives for a while and see how they like it. When you get rail-roaded into a "religious" activity that nobody else wants, simply say, "Sorry no, I can't do that one I have another engagement, but """"""" would be glad to take it on I'm sure" and do to your "friends" what they're doing to you. It's amazing how fast people will stop doing unto others what they do not want done unto them.
Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer
Anytime you are in a volunteer position this is exactly what happens no matter what the group religious or otherwise until you lay down the law and set personal boundaries and be in charge of respect for yourself. Being taken advantage of is never wanted religiously or any other way.
refurb
refurb
what actions do your religious leaders want you to do?
it sounds that they may creepy
2_Stars_But_No_Light
2_Stars_But_No_Light
It’s mainly assignments like:

•Checking up on neighbors
•Cooking for sick or elderly
•Teaching a 30 min lesson on the Bible
•And so on and so forth.

They’re nice people who care about me but they’re pushy and forceful and they don’t stop till I do it.
And I have school, work, an internship, and household duties I have to attend to as well.
bridgie101
bridgie101
You say no. And if they as why you say 'i am so very sorry that won't be possible.'

Do not tell them why. Stand there, silent. I am sorry i am not available. I am sorry you will have to find someone else.

Why?

'Because i said no.'

You will only have to do this once. After that they will be more polite. Voluntary means voluntary and if nobody else will do it why should you.
bridgie101
bridgie101
But do not give explanations because explanations give them a chance to argue and material to argue with. Just keep repeating you are unavailable, it won't be possible, they are going to have to find someone else. You can even say you are very sorry. But they are going to have to find someone else this time as you are not available.
97kid
97kid
I'm not sure how to have an engaging conversation, I feel like you too
Loveforever
Loveforever
Sadly, my Son got involved ( and stuck ) in a religious cult... :-(
It has been over 5 years since I heard from my Son...I don't know
how he is doing or about his whereabouts...My heart is broken..:-(
I love and miss my Son terrible...His Dad just had Spinal Surgery....
I have no way to get in touch with my Son. I keep praying every
day for a Miracle to see my Son ...None of our family had heard
from my Son, Brother, Nephew...It has been 5 very ,very long years...:-(
jaynib
jaynib
This is an opportunity for you to learn to say no. I believe God wants you to grow in this area and set firm boundaries. He does not need you to feel compelled to serve. Maybe this is not a good time for you. Maybe you can only do one of those things rather than all of them. But choose the one that YOU have a heart for. I'm sorry you are feeling pressured. It certainly should not be like that. In my younger days I was too nice as well and didn't want people to disapprove of me. But with prayer I've been able to respectfully let others know when something they thought might be good for me was not where I was being led. Maybe reach out to other groups where you can find support and things you like being involved in?
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