You know you've answered every question you've asked....so you know the answers. Moving in with someone in 2 weeks time regardless of how much you think you love them when you have a child is reckless and irresponsible, sorry if that's harsh, but its what it is. When you are a parent, you don't get to think about yourself first, your child comes first and this definitely does not sound like whats best for him.

You snooped and found porn on the BF's computer, how hard do you think it will be for a 12 yr old boy to do so. Kids are pretty tech savy these days. You already know this is not the right place for you to be, so now its time to do the hard stuff. Figure out how to get you and your son a new place to live. Regardless of whether your BF is depressed or just lazy, he's not any kind of an example for your child to be around. And if he is Depressed, he's not going to be able to give you the kind of communication and emotional validation that you need, I'll guarantee you that one....Depression takes that kind of logic, rational and reasoning away, far, far, away.

If he moved in with you, then you need to tell him its time for him to leave. If you moved in with him, you need to seriously start looking for a new place. Social Services, HUD Housing, Section 8 whatever it takes to get your child in a better living environment.

Seeing the good in people is great, being optimistic is great, there's nothing wrong with it. But, you don't let it make your decisions, when those decisions involve the care, welfare and safety of your child. You can see the good in people, but you need to learn to also recognize the bad and balance the 2. See the whole person, because when your in a relationship that's what you get, the whole person.

Perhaps you can find a Support Group or some Counseling for yourself to help you make better decisions and see people more clearly. Your son is right at that age where seeing and learning what other men are like will have an impact on what kind of man he becomes, you need to run that through your mind every time you consider bringing a man into your and his life.

I really hope you can see the truth of this relationship with open eyes and get your son in a better situation.

Take care,

I don't think it matters if 'in love' or not. Who the H would want to live with someone like that. DUMP HIM ... ASAP ... and don't look back.

best advice: break up with him, focus on yourself.

You are very codependent. Look it up. Emotionally he is the master you want to be the dog for but meanwhile your rational brain isn't buying the bullshit your emotions are telling it. You need the practical stuff done and you need an emotional relationahip. Sadly a codependents rose tinted glasses are so extreme they throw their hearts at lumps of wood and then pine for lack of reciprocation.

For me antidepressants played a huge part in realising how codependent i was and unloading it.

Get back to your house. He is not the one. You are the one. And your son.

And if he loves you he will pursue you. Make yourself too easy to get and you don't make him grateful to you, you make him think HE is wonderful.

The only comment on will make is most men look at Porn. The regularity could be an issue.

Do u wanna talk abt it to me I'll listen

U r too smart to be around someone who takes little responsibility.

Plenty of Fish -- look it up, POF --
in the pond. . LOL

good luck

Callab :)

Men tend to watch porn as a stress reliever, and it has little to do with their feelings or comparison. That's not to justify it, just explain it. It's very difficult to change people, and it sounds like he is depressed and unmotivated.

If possible, consider a breakup, and take it slower next time. Particularly if you have a child, go gently on physical entanglements, first looking for compatibility in other areas.