Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Does anyone have people in their life, despite your own depression, that actually drag you down with THEIR attitude? There are certain people that I find even more depressing when I interact with them thand having to deal with my own moods and feelings of inadequacy or fear or disappointment. They actually make me feel worse than I already do. I would call them more often, but I don't. My therapist has been coaching me to cut conversations short or redirect things. One actually sounded disappointed that I had to get off the phone mid complain session. I can't have a bad therapy session for literally two hours with someone on the phone. Conversations have actually persisted that long when I've let them.
I called a friend tonight. I rarely call her. I called to touch base about something. She went on her usual litany of All That Is Wrong. I humored her and just went with it. At some point in the conversation she said, "I always tell people that I have no thyroid, no gall bladder, no kidney and a broken heart." Something about this comment just gave me this big sinking feeling and I felt the atmosphere just drop all around me. I'm frequently left with the sensation that life is just awful after talking to her. I actually had just called because we had a walk planned for tomorrow. Leaves have turned in the area and she always wants to see changing leaves so I thought I would ask. She said no, it wasn't challenging enough and a waste of her time because it's not enough exercise, just a walk and not a really intense workout. Fine.
Some people make you feel like you just can't win.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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The friendship originally started out as a mutual relationship but as I progressed through therapy, I started to want to talk about new interests and even just tv shows or things going on in the world - literally just anything but complaining, but that’s all she wanted to do.
She wanted to complain, not just a quick and occasional vent session, but for a good hour or two. She was using me as a therapist, not a friend, and every interaction left me exhausted.
Eventually, after trying to redirect conversations, cut conversations short - just like your therapist suggested, I ended up ending the friendship.
I had to tell her that we had grown apart, that our constant complaining was not healthy for me and I needed to move on. I wished her the best and that was it.
It was not an easy conversation, but it was the best thing for me.
I hope you find a way to set boundaries that work for you
the person who is full of put downs is arrogant and critical.
My best friend and I vent all of the time, but we do
laugh and talk about other things too. Our relationship is a "deep one" based on years of trust and understanding. billw: I agree. I hate people who expect me to answer personal or inappropriate questions.