Just wanted to give a hug and say sorry for all your pain and suffering.

Agreed!!! Hugs!!

I found out that I like people well enough when I like myself first.

I am not trying to start anything here, but how well do you like yourself?

I am pretty much like you, I am so much better off alone and don't like to be around people much, either they are family or people in general.

And as Bob said up here, it has to do if you like yourself or not. It is a self esteem and confidence issue. I am not confident enough to be around people, so I prefer to stay away from them.

I hope you feel better. You should be happy that you have a mother even if that old! I wish I had "parents" ...

I'm just curious depressed. Would you rather just vent and have everyone listen, or do you appreciate the comments given back to you? You mention that even people get to you and you don't prefer people so that is why I asked if our comments bother you as well. We are here to help you so if just listening to you vent is all that you need, then that is okay too. We are here to support you. Hugs GB

Are there any programs in your area that help caretakers like yourself?

I know you don't like to be around people but being a primary caregiver is ever so stressful and doesn't help anxiety one iota.

Worrying about your son traveling back to school is understandable.
My son was an OTR trucker and I just held my breath every time he headed out though I knew he was a good driver.

Many husbands don't get it, just like so many others/family members/friends who don't understand this illness, it's not always deliberate, seems unless someone actually lives with it, they can't understand it. I think that's just human nature for many people.

I hope venting has eased at least some of your anxiety...

Being A Caregiver Is Extremely Difficult.
Your Mom Is Very Lucky To Have Such A Wonderful Daughter.
Please Make Sure that You Take Lots of Time Just for You.

((((((HUGS))))))

I get you. You could call me a recluse. I very rarely go out of my house and if I do, Ken or Noel have to be with me.

Is there anyway you could get home care for your Mom with her social security check?

I don't like people because I don't like rejection, giving or receiving.

Thank you all for the comments and replies...

The truth is...it's just PEOPLE in general that I don't like...

ME? well I honestly love myself...perhaps a little too much...because it tends to isolate me from others...I can be pretty condescending and arrogant when I'm not feeling depressed and anxious...

the depression and anxiety do tend to make me feel bad about myself...but not enough to want to harm myself or stop loving myself...

As for the replies here on DS - I LOVE THEM...if I don't like one of the comments or get offended (which doesn't happen too often) ...I just move right along on to the next one...no harm done...

Please keep them coming...as I consider myself new to this and not very accepting of my condition...so I think I need all the help I can get...THANKS!

The truth is this post came after some anxiety comments made by my husband about me not doing anything around the house (which I don't do - I look around at the mess and just get exausted and want to go to bed)...so his comments raised my anxiety level...made me cry...and just reminded me how much I dislike people.

thats all...WELL?

I joined a group here called "Caring for Aging Parents" when my mother in law moved in with us. It helps being able to talk to people who are going through the same thing.

I too want to be a hermit, but I wouldn't be great company for myself as I hate myself. However, in the past we have fantasised on here about starting a DS cave community, with train-tracks between each cave so we can get chocolate, coffee and cake. Floopy, Menelaus, Daisy, Winny, Beastie and Bistro joined up if I remember rightly. We would put up a notice across the cave saying either "OK, you can come across the threshold for 30 seconds", or "Piss off". I wish life could be like that, especially as like you I am caring for family.

Ah. I just read your comment about the husband and the whole post made a lot more sense to me in why you are so irritated and I can't really tell you this will work but if he doesnt understand the toll of caring for not only a sick person as well as your husband and your son then....make a chart for his portion of chores to do and title it.....stop your bitching if you can't help me out with this. Just my take on it. Send it in a memo as well....it might make you feel a bit better :-). Cheers. Hope you feel better soon.

Maybe,it wasn't that you did not like people in general but that you didn't like your husband when he criticized you, that you didn't like your son for coming for a visit and then leaving "making you" miss him and worry about him, that you didn't like your mom for getting old and being dependent on you. And that's all okay and understandable. Own your feelings. But be careful about generalization. We all like some people and dislike some people and then there's others we like and dislike at the same time.