Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Ok, so I know I may be sounding like a broken record but it is just not getting easier. I've been depressed, I mean really, clinically depressed, and outside of that I am having the worst pain I've ever had. I broke up with my fiance in July and I just don't feel whole without him. It was a huge mistake. I don't know if he will take me back. We spend some time together but he doesn't know if he will take me back. Meanwhile I am hurting so much. I know I shouldn't have broken his heart but I really don't think I deserve all this pain. At the same time, maybe I do. And, maybe, if I endure enough pain I will get him back. I know that sounds stupid but I feel like if I keep hurting like this that I will earn him back. That sounds so ridiculous I know. I just don't know if I can live without him. I mean, I know my heart will go on beating if he decides not to take me back, but it's going to hurt, even more than it does now. And I don't know if I can handle that. I keep thinking of ways to end it if he doesn't take me back. They are horrible thoughts and incredibly selfish, but if I'm in this much pain now, how much will I be in if he decides he doesn't want me back? I honestly didn't know I had this many tears. My stomach feels like its in knots constantly. It really hurts.
Is this guy the ONLY person you have ever cared for??? Or can you open up your mind to the fact that you COULD care for someone else?
BTW: Cute dog pics - but i still think wiener dogs are cuter!
I read your post and I am sorry you are in so much pain. However, you have to believe that time will heal your pain. If your ex does not take you back it is not the end of the world. You will survive. I would start doing nice things for yourself such as going for walks, taking a nice hot bath, pamper yourself through your difficult time. It sounds like you are obsessing about this choice you made back then. You obviously thought it was the right choice at that time. Stop beating yourself up for a choice that you made. There are lots of other guys in the world as well. Maybe take a break from him and see how you feel without seeing him. Try your hardest to think positively about yourself and what you have to offer to the world.