I don't know where to begin, probably at the beginning but I'm not really sure what one. There have been many for years and years, up and down like a roller coaster ride - but the most recent one has been the worst of all. When I say recent, I mean this one all started Sept 2011 when my husband of 14 years decided to gradually abandon me bit by bit day by day. He found a new interest (not a woman) but a hobby. In the beginning

I never thought too much about it although little bells were ringing in my head that I chose to ignore. The problem was, I never had a hobby or a wide circle of friends but neither did he. My life was him and I, we never had children but we were OK with that. We bought a house in 2003 and made the place our own doing renovations and repairs but when that housing crisis happened, everything stopped. I thought plans for the future were just put on the back burner for the time being, but I never wanted to just abandon any home improvements altogether - after all, a home is the best investment you'll ever make.

Well this hobby of his became more and more intense and i was now finding myself to be home alone when we would normally be together doing something or nothing. I was unhappy in my new job and regretted leaving my old one. She was a boss that I call 'a bully boss' inflicting constant pressure, nasty comments and emails and the dreaded 3 month reviews. I knew I wasn't giving her what she wanted, but I was a good employee - there were no grounds for dismissal. I just don't think your boss has the power to decide if you should take on a part time bar job to promote her company! anyway, that aside, all this coupled with my husband not being around anymore was terrible. Loneliness is an understatement. I've always been a job hopper - don't know why and I was determined to stay in this job at least over 6 months.

So Feb rolled around and for the first time my husband and I had the most horrible fight, I was in so much shock I went and had a cigarette even although I had been quit for years. I can't even begin to describe all the emotions i was feeling, part of me wanted to just run away and get the hell out of his sight but I knew I couldn't do such a thing because my family live abroad. for years I use to think about that, where could I go if my husband and I broke up - my mum wasn't just a long the road. Anyway, we kind of made up but nothing was really resolved - a common issue throughout my whole marriage as I was married to a passive aggressive.

So, I was due to turn 40 in 9 months and I always new that if I didn't decide to have children by this age, then that was it....now or never. Even although things weren't that great, I still wanted to take the plunge and try, after all marriages do have their rough patches and things are bound to get better. My husbands reaction to this idea was, 'I thought you didn't want kids' . He never said anything else and neither did I. Needless to say I fell pregnant a few months later, he sat down on the couch beside me gave me a little shoulder hug and complained that I was drinking red wine. Red wine was my only enjoyment in life. my husbands hobby got out of control, he was hardly ever home, living this new life - it seemed like he couldn't be away from me enough.

I stayed real strong throughout my pregnancy and after having my child but deep down sadness and resentment lingered day in and day out. He played mind games with me, people started coming over to our house that I didn't know. It got to the point I was snooping his text messages and it's just as well I did. I will go into detail more if anyone is interested but to cut more of the long story short, I LEFT HIM. My anxiety and depression was so bad i wasn't eating or sleeping and the physical and emotional pain was debilitating. No one knew. I had too much pride and faith in my marriage. I was worried for my daughter because i figured if I become the 'unfit mother' I might loose her so I made the biggest decision in my life to call my parents. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. My father came over from overseas two days later - it was the longest two days of my life. My husband had no idea he was coming. Dad duly arrives there he is sitting at my kitchen table un be known to my husband when he walked in from work. It took my husband two 12 days to eventually ask me why my dad came over. He was so wrapped up in his ' single dude' lifestyle.

I left my husband behind and brought my 2 year old daughter with me to live overseas where I come from. I hate everything that has happened, i never ever thought this was going to be in my cards. I thought we were going to grow old together. I just hate it, but i just couldn't go on living with the way things were. Since returning home, I've lived a more productive life in 6 months than I ever did over there in the last 3 years. So we are separated and its like getting blood out a stone to get updates from him with regard to our separation agreement....that's a whole other story. Oh and to top it all off, 3 months after I left him, my Mum died.