My depression has gone on for years b'se I'm obsessed with the memory of a lost relationship. I don't want this obsession however, I feed the obsession every day simply by thinking about it. I've never been able to stop those thoughts. How do you stop yourself from thinking about something?

I used to think that I'm obsessed with "her". But lately I've realized that my obsession is not about her. There has been no social interaction between myself and her for almost four years. My obsession is about memories of her and imagining that she is still with me as my little imaginary friend. I think about past conversations and experiences with her every day. I imagine bonding with her by pretending to have a conversation with her. I do that just about every day but I'm trying to stop.

"Imaginary bonding" When she was in my life what I enjoyed most was bonding with her through heart to heart conversations. After she left I continued having those conversations without her. It's crazy and it's sad. It's sort of like if someone's pet dies, instead of burying it, they continue to cuddle and take care of it's deceased body.

I tried to replace her but then I realized that I don't want to obsess over anyone else so I try not to get too close to anyone. So, there's no "rebound" for me. I just have to learn to move on and get over this. Feeling angry about the loss of the relationship and feeling sorry for myself only makes my depression much worse. Hating her for leaving me makes me feel worse too so all I can do is love her and want whatever is best for her. If removing me made her life better then I have to want that for her too.