its ok... i've been there many times. when i get down, i read the book Suicide, The Forever Decision by Paul Quinett...u can download the book for free at http://www.qprinstitute.com/Forever_Decision.zip it really helps me in my down periods and it may have just saved my life...try to remember that things CAN get better if u just try to stay strong sometimes...i know it is hard i contimplate suicide more than i'd care to admit...i also cut and burn myself to feel pain or just feel alive...i hope it helps...*big hug*

just so u know...it is OK to ask for help...asking for help takes courage and by you writing your feelings thats a huge step...if u feel like u r going to hurt yourself please go to the ER or call 911 your saftey is important i am here if u would like to chat...just remember u are not weak for asking for help ...

*hugs*

I understand. I feel the same and yes, asking for help was all that saved me last weekend.

I hate it when people tell me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - it's such a cliche. But the idea behind it is true. Please believe that things will get better for you again, because they will. Even if you just look out your window one day and see a bird and it makes you smile for a second. Can you imagine never being able to see 'normal' things again?

I'm sorry if this sounds blunt, but the pain you're feeling just now, do you want the people who know you to feel that? Because if you were to die, they might. I've been the one left behind before, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

But more than anything else, please keep asking for help, even if it's just on here. We all care, you know. **HUGS**

I think part of the problem is that I really don't care if I don't see normal things again. I have a hard time thinking of anything that is worth being alive for. Sometimes, it's my brother, but he barely talks to me anymore so I'm not even sure he cares.

ALso, I've lost 2 people in my immediate family to suicide. No one seems to have a very hard time with it. It's sort of a pattern in my family and people just accept it. I don't have children, I live alone. I don't have anyone super close. I don't think anyone would be super distraught if I was gone.

I know this sounds super....depressing, but I just feel super hopeless. I'm trying. I really am. I got up today. I'm going to the gym. It's just fucking hard.

it must be extra tough when u dont have any1 close to talk to...we'll now youve got me and every1 here on DS in your corner...together we can get through minute by minute hour by hour if need be...when i get stressed i hit that gym like a mad woman excellent source of stress release...good for u ...im proud of you for trying