Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was recommended to this site from a crisis chat line. I often find myself reaching out to them, with little avail.
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at the age of 5. My father was not in the picture and my mother worked 3 jobs and suffered from extreame anxiety when I was born. She could not physically touch me without having an attack, the extensive drug abuse didnt help. She told me she use to carry me around in a wicker basket to avoid contact.
She married a man who for 10 years physically, emotionally and socially abused me. I grew up behind a locked door, isolated from the world. I received the beatings when my step brother, his child, would misbehave. Needless to say, life was hell.
I excaped at the age of 15. Starting highschool with no friends, parents who neglected me and no self esteem, but i found love... The one thing i didnt even know i never had. I found acceptance for the first time, and lost it. I was addicted to it, ruined peoples lives trying to get more of it.
I left for basic training right after highscool in hopes that i would die in combat so somebody could go home to their family, cause i didnt have one to go to. Made it to a special forces training and got injured and was sent home. My best friends, brothers, died so I could come home, PVT. Wilson died in my place. It was supposed to be the other way around.
its been 11 years since i got out. I am disabled physically and broken mentally. Ive been diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd and even rads (reative attachment disorser). I have since isolated myself again and lost all emotions i once had. I am an empty shell of somebody who died a long time ago. I feel no feelings toward anything.
Ive attempted suicide more times than im willing to share, a few came close and one that i cant explain how i survived. Ive lost all hope and now await the day i die. I no longer check for oncomming traffic, no longer fear my death but pray of it.
I dont seek empathy or sympathy. Only to tell people my story. I chose a life of isolation to stop dragging people around with me, but i long for communication.
This is the only life i know, it doesnt despress me, but it is killing me.
Do you have any access to counselling or therapy?? Might be good to try out a session or 2 to see how that might help you. Otherwise, please continue to download here. You are going to be a blessing to another person who is reading your post. Be well and take care. God Bless!