Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I know it is not right to say but I just hate life. I think I always have since I was a child. I had a crummy life and it just gets worse. I don't understand why someone would want to live to be 100. My doctor says it is a chemical imbalance but I don't think it is that simple. I think about all the bad and evil in the world and how people suffer. My boyfriend died and many others I loved including pets. People around me are sick and have money problems. I am in debt and see no way out. If only the good would happen to equal the bad but it is just mostly bad. The only time I feel okay is at night when I know I can sleep soon and thank God I can escape that way. Christmas makes me sad because I miss my parents and all those relatives that are gone.
I hate when people tell me there are people worse off than me and I am grateful to be relatively healthy but how does that help me to think of those worse off. I have a great respect for life. Don't get me wrong but I hate every second of it. Even looking back to when I thought I was happy I see now it was an illusion and it was all taking me to this path where I am a big loser.
I wish I were never born. I see no way out of this hell I am living. I am so afarid of the next bad thing coming my way. I try to be positive. I was feeling sad as usual but okay and then I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle and caught a cold. Not real bad compared to others but just an example how it never stops. Even friends and family seem okay but I worry about them all. I pray all the time for things to get better for me and others. Someone told me about a 92 year old woman who walks everyday and has a routine and is content. I don't care if I could do backflips, the thought of living that long is a nightmare to me. Life is too long as it is.
I know a lot of people on this board are depressed and feel bad but I just don't see the point of life. People have asked why are we here for ages but really why? What I can't fathom is why people seem so content and sing and want to live forever. I would probably stay in bed and cry all day if I could. Everyone is supposed to say how great life is and I just don't get it. Do You?
QP
My husband died and my daughter killed herself, she was the only one who understood me. Parents are gone, so are aunts and uncles. I have been knocked down and run over. I am thinking about a solution to this dilemma, when I get it all laid out on paper and ready to put into action I'll let you know. Right now though I have no answer as to why anyone would want to live to be 100. I am 63, but at 35 I got what life was about, I was done then, but for some reason my heart kept beating and I kept breathing, so WTH, may as well keep trying than to be bored stiff. Seeing some of the stupid things people do for fun, surely there is something easy for me to do too, I just have to lower my standards a little. Gotta quit thinking how stupid everything is and just be there maybe, and I'm really bad, I think going for a walk for no reason is stupid.
Rainbow. I think it is more than just a chemical imbalance like you say the economy is hurting everyone even though we are told it is getting better. I see it in my lousy job that is reducing my salary. At least I can try and help people there a bit. Most people are having a hard time with the new health insurance laws. It is okay for people with good jobs or the very poor but the ones in the middle cannot pay for insurance or the fine. Thanks for your support.
I am so sorry for your losses Sara. I pray that you find peace of mind. Easier said than done. I remember that movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock where she was an alcoholic. Her boyfriend basically said that people deal with life by having children, running or drugs and they drink. People with money do have the luxury of not worrying about every dime they spend. That would be nice for us all. I remember seeing a writer on TV who was 100 but didn't want to be. I wish I could remember his name but he basically said he didn't know why he lived that long. I don't know what we could do but I am sure if any of us find out we will post it here.
When I hear people say life is short I just cringe. To me it is too long. If only the good would happen, then maybe it would help.
QP