Hey. Do you have a therapist and a psychiatrist? Because having good ones help a bit. Antidepressants help with the spiralling. Things do get out of hand but medication helps you get a grip when you are going down the rabbit hole. Try to come up with methods to deal with terrible moods when they show up. Progress is usually slow if not stagnant but it's about trying to deal with the cards that we are dealt with rather than hoping that there is a cure

Hi Anna, so sorry that you are struggling... for me to get out of the vicious cycle, I first had to realize that I will always have my struggle and that it was going to be a daily battle. This took a while to accept and grieve. Then after realizing that it wasn't going away, I began to incorporate things each day that were "good" for me like stretching, exercising, eating better, doing things that brought me joy around my home and that I could reflect on as an accomplishment. And kept building on it little by little. Not every day was the same but each little thing has added up. Please be kind to yourself, and also recognize that as a woman, out hormones also go through that cycle so some days to weeks may automatically be lower than others so with that in mind, just know that it is not "your whole life" thing but a temporary thing that will pass as you move through the cycle (but will come back again in another 20 days) unfortunately. Hugs to you!

Thank you both, unfortunately I am unable to revive any medical help because my parents don’t support that. this is my attempt at something, I’ve tried online therapy but most free options aren’t great. I move out in a few years and will be able to revive help then. But at the moment I can not. But I do appreciate the advice, and thank you for it, both of you :)

Hello Anna, therapy can be expensive and is not always an option as you stated above. Most schools however have counselors who are more than willing to talk to you and help you with your hard times. As I have found through my own struggles talking with someone about what is going on in your life and how you are feeling can work wonders. It's difficult to open up to people and let them into your bubble. I think that finding someone to just listen to you will help a lot. Your school counselors can do just that. It is hard to do but I think you should give it a shot, it can't hurt right?

Hello Anna, I had a friend who was in a very similar situation in high school. My parents were supportive about therapy and they are still very supportive about it while in college, but my friend had to hide what she was really feeling. Now that she's older she finally seeing someone to help her. Before she could see a therapist she would practice self care, so yoga, meditation, writing down her thoughts and reading self help books about depression. This helped her until she was able to help her parents really understand why she needed to see a therapist. I hope everything works out for you, hugs!

Hello Anna, I am sorry that you are struggling. I wish I could take it all away for you. It is difficult to find options when your parents do not support medical help. I admire you for finding other ways to find help. I think this is a great place to find support and talk to others that are going through the same thing as you. There are so many things that can help with depression and some people respond to some tactics better than others. I am not a medical professional, but from my studies I know that becoming aware of your emotions can help a lot, also by either writing them down or have a person you can talk to. Also doing some self care which could be anything from yoga to just telling yourself some encouraging messages throughout the day. Do not be afraid to talk to someone if you get the chance, and do not be embarrassed. All of us here, and many other people want the best for you! Keep being the amazing you!