so today is technocally my off day, like past sundays this one has me doing nothing, not that i can being i dont have money or a car, the most ive done is made a playlist of my three favorite songs, korns alone i break, johnny cash hurt and radioheads creep.

some might say WTF, but yes those songs are inbedded in me, do they make things worse, maybe, but it is what it is.

i have recently tried to move on from my separation by trying to me people online, i have run into many liars and fakes and the too good to be true ones.

a week ago i found and attractive woman....side note, my mistrust is so huge from long ago that if i could have a blood test done i just might.... she supposedly lives a few miles away, supposedly has an teen son, works a full time job and has a part time one.

im trying to do what i can to fix my life and get it right, meds, therapy, being upfront and honest. ive made a pros and cons list of this woman, from what i know of her so far, many pros and the cons are tiny and not a bother.

she says she wants to get to know me, but take things slow, she said this after i mentioned meeting, we talk sometimes when shes on her way home, the texting is a bit erratic and shes said shed text when she can, we texted in the morning yesterday, but afer that i didnt hear from her till this evening.

being depressive im sure i dont need to tell you how this all doesnt sit well, from all ive found out, we click and i like her, but its like im waiting for the shoe to drop, i dont know what to make of her not wanting to meet right now or the erratic texts