that was an insensitive thing to say. I have kids and my inlaws pretty much ignore the fact that our whole family exists. My FIL even complained about the fact that my kids' senior pictures are blocking his other grandchildren and I better think about things before I add the third picture of my youngest. I suggested other places for his pictures so he could see ALL his grandkids but that was met with argument. His favorites are the oldest grandson and the oldest granddaughter, both of which belong to the same daughter. I knew I was never accepted as part of the family but his comments about my kid's pictures just drove a nail in my heart. And I have to spend Christmas eve with the family and the 26th with him.

I really get disgusted with adults who have favorite children, favorite grand children, favorite nieces and nephews, etc.

My late sister's MIL is like that.

Karma will get them all. Someday.

Until then, IDK, focus on the family you have that treats you well.

Gentle hugs

That was a nasty thing to say. It will just be the 4 of us but I am glad we will be together. Hugs to you.

Dianne, have you ever though about foster children? Do you think you still have the energy? I wanted to do several years ago here, and even took the classes and was approved, the only thing remaining was a home inspection. But I never had them come out. And the house was in good shape then, minus a a tear in the screen door and didn't have furniture for thier bedroom yet. Plus needed to lock up all medicines, household cleaners, knives, tools, etc. But what really stopped me was having NO support oustside of the system. No one to fall back on, no relatives, parents, siblings, cousins, etc. That, and then being told by my lawyer, that if I got 2 kids, which I wanted so they would have each other, I could lose my ssdi. Well...couldn't afford to lose that. I think that really sucks. All these older kids especially that needed homes, all these parents who are on disability, but I couldn't have 2 kids, because it's considered a "paying" job, even though most of the money goes towards housing and caring for them. Go figure. Anyway, afterawhile I realized I was out of commission too much w my autoimmune disease anyway. So I'll be spending Christmas by myself as usual. But this year I don't I'm two pets down. And my aussie was the last one who got excited when he saw the tree going up and his presents underneath. He is the last one who knew how to open presents. My last 3 dogs all knew what Christmas was(sortof lol) they recognized the tree, and they knew which wrapped items underneath were theirs. They wouldn't open any until given permission. And I even had to wrap stuff for myself when I had both rottie and aussie, after they each had a turn, they would pause and look at me, like, "it's your turn". lol I learned to have pretty much fun on my own with them. It actually was better than any Christmas's I remember w family! Unfortunatly so, but true. Having my own family would have been ultimate I suppose, but not in the cards. Do you have any pets? Also, just look around...maybe there are some people in your life, around your life that could use some cheer. A little suprize package for an elderly neighbor? A vist to a hospital? Are there any children homes locally? I don't know that you can go on Christmas, but I do think they have holiday parties evey year. If you have the energy, I would suggest looking into quitting your job and bringing a few "older" foster kids home. It's not easy, because there are rules and parental visits, home inspections, etc. But for someone with a heart like yours, it's almost a waste not to give it to them. no? thoughts?

DIANNE
I WILL B ENTIRELY ALONE ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND DAY...........
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL.
HUBBY WILL B GONE ON THE ROAD 4 THE HOLIDAYS.............
I HAVE NO CHILDREN AND NO RELATIVES IN THE AREA 2 VISIT.
I CANT DRIVE ANYMORE.
I WILL HAVE 2 B HAPPY WITH A CAN OF BEANS I GUESS............. LOLOLOL
DONT COOK ANYMORE EITHER...............
2 DANGEROUS CAUSE OF MY BRAIN TUMOR.
I WILL MAKE IT THRU WITH THE LORD ABOVES HELP THO.
GBU
DRENA B
;-O

At least you have your husband! My family shrinks every year! This year it will be my brother, nephew and mom and dad. We all see each other every day anyway, so nothing really that spectacular anyway.

I am grateful for my husband of course. But the only thing I ever wanted, the only thing that I KNOW could keep the depression manageable, is a loving family. I did not grow up in one, but we did spend holidays together. They are gone. And I don't have one of my own. I manage to keep that pain locked away most of the year. But the holidays are hard.

Husband is not on board with fostering or adoption.

I am having a hard time this year too since losing my last parent.

I just want to give you a big hug Diane. This will be the first time since my 29 year old son was born that he won't be with us Christmas morning. He will be with his fianc's parents. They are coming on the 27th for a couple of days and I am grateful for that, but it definitely will be sad for me. It won't feel right.

I know you've had so much loss and this past year especially. I'm sorry that your in-laws felt like they had to make a point of saying they would be with your husband's sibling because they have kids. Wow that was insensitive.

Hugs ~~

LMT

Diane,

I have spent a LOT of time with a youth soccer program. The kids range in age from about 4 to 20 years old. Lots of different kids there! If you like being around them (and they can really put some randomness in your life) then find a place with children where you can volunteer!

Then celebrate Christmas on a different day...where is it written it must be held on the 25th?
Survivor if you were in a state next to mine I would invite you to break bread and I would come get you for sure

Diane, I know you have had a lot of loss this year and want to send you big hugs to fill that place in your heart that feels empty. It's true that kids can make a huge difference in a person's life, esoecially for those of us suffering from depression. I agree with Pepperman that if you coud volunteer ir find someway to be with kids who can bond with you it would help some of those feelings of loss. Glad you still have your husband but I understand that it's not enough.

My Gran is always comparing me to others and saying how much better they are than me. However, it's water off a Duck's back to me now.

Awww, Diane, you always have family, because family isn't just those of your own bloodlines, family, is some who stands by you through thick and thin. Family are those who support you and love you. So weather you realize it or not, we at DS can be your family. You won't be alone this Christmas, I gurrantee you that. :)

Get yourself emotionally happy and well then consider adoption or fostering.. I realize that having your own child can be different. I have a son that just turned 23, and he's my only child if you don't count my two girls (dogs)... Now they are my babies. If my physical health was better I would foster kids because I don't think I can afford adoption. So if your inlaws go to your hubby's siblings house maybe you two could plan to go there next year? Save up for the year if finances are an issue. If that's not an option then find friends that you consider family and talk to them about how upsetting it is that you guys are basically alone on the holidays and I'm willing to bet they'll invite ya'll over. If not than have you considered volunteering at a homeless shelter or community dinner? Sometimes family isn't always based on your blood connection. :)