Welcome to the group. First of all, it's not unusual to not be able to explain what is wrong and how you feel. It's good your husband is supportive so, always keep the communication lines open between the two of you. Depression is a cycler and it comes and goes with intensity. When you are having a "bad day" be sure to let your husband know. Medications can take the edge off of depression and sometimes, changes have to be made in these medications that will continue the help you need. There are "triggers" out there too, that we have to deal with at times. Recognize what these are and do what you can to deal with these when they arise. You are not alone here, we all have dealt with depression in some form or another. You are with a good group.

Welcome! I know it can be hard to break through and let someone know you are having a hard time. I think the best thing is to just tell exactly what you're feeling, as confused and disjointed as it might be. It is good that you have a loving supportive partner.

First....Welcome!!!
Secondly, know that it's not easy to express what it is your feeling. But, like the others suggested, it is great to keep communication open... it can be very tempting to become closed off from others....don't do it!!!

Yes, welcome to the world of being depressed. Getting support from family can be hard, but it is manageable. Look at it this way, we suffer from depression, yet we have long stretches of time where we have no idea what we want. How can our family, especially the non-depressed ones, expect to know what to do?

Be as open with them as you are ready (this can be very complex), and help them by telling them what you are kind of looking for.

Sometimes we just want to be held and told that it will get better.

Sometimes we want a perfect answer from them.

Sometimes we want to vent, even if we get irrational.

Sometimes we want honest feed back.

Sometimes we want soft feed back that skirts the issues, but sooths us.

Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes.


And by all means, welcome to the group!

Oh, sorry, forgot to address your main question.

This is a place where you can do all the above. Vent, yell, cry, post plans, review plans, make friends,

Anything, anything, anything!

I am new to this group as well! Speaking as one who also deals with depression, one of my challenges is speaking my mind about my needs. Depression falsely gives the feeling that no one will hear, understand or even care. In fact, an underlying cause of depression is swallowing our words, needs with an inability to speak clearly. At least, that is what I found out to be valid while in therapy. I like that this is a place to give voice at the ThePepperMan says: vent, yell, cry, post plans, etc. Most of all find friends to help one another through the dips in moods to see light at the end of the tunnel. Here you can practice talking out your feelings, then actually begin to express yourself to your husband.

You are young, newly married and plenty of time to grow together. I hope you have a counselor, pastor or therapist for support as well. One thing my husband always tells me is that he cannot read my mind, please tell him when things don't feel right or when I am sad. Thankfully we have learned how important to listen to each other over many years. Thoughts and prayers going your way!

I don't think you can get support from family. I think family relationships are territorial battles to a degree, and you would need someone very inclusive to be willing to relinquish their territory to you. You need to ask what relationship you have with hubby. Is it two oaks, growing strong, but near each other, or two vines, tangled into each other, propping each other up but simultaneously leaning on each other also?

If you think you have a situation of one vine and one oak: that won't work. Two vines work, two oaks work. One oak and one vine do not work.

Hi SofieRose,

Sorry I am so late in responding to you! Welcome to the forum!!

A lot of people have given you great responses. I just want to add that marriage is a wonderful thing, but it does have it's challenges. From your post it sounds like your husband is right there with you and wants to help. He just doesn't understand what is going on. Talk to him, share your heart, even when it doesn't make sense. I have been married for 18yrs now and one thing that neither my husband nor I have forgotten is never go to bed mad. We both suffer from small bouts of depression at times and when that happens we pray together. Did I say we went straight to prayer....if I said yes I would be lying. Usually a fight happens first, then the don't go to bed mad, and then the prayer.

If you would like I can share some resources with you, I have found them to be quite helpful. Until then, talk to your hubby tell him your heart.

Thank you all for the wonderful responses! I can already tell that this is going to be a place of great support.