Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hi all, I've been wanting to post in here for awhile now but to be honest didn't want to go into much detail about the horrible past that I was hoping to leave behind me.... but it seems that reality is showing me that unfortunately it's not going to be that simple. I may NEVER be good enough for my husband and that thought alone really gets to me. I try so hard and work my arse off for not on,y our two young girls but also for him- I've always put him up on a pedalstool... even with things he has done in the past, because of my unfaithfulness, he is always up high and I spoil him. I know I do.... but lately it's like I am exhausted. Not from all the effort because I would try forever to make him happy but I guess from the thought of filling a gap that is unfillable. I'm never going to be able to make things up to him and it's always there in his mind.... just wondered if any of u are in similar situations and could share your thoughts.
i love him with everything I have and I know I couldn't live happy without him... just really wish I could be confident saying he feels the same way.
Well that's good because it's an indication that you have a conscience because someone without a conscience wouldn't care. But what happens next is that you develop resentment, and end up becoming horrible to him and the marriage will go downhill there, too. In short: he's going to be the one punished in the end for what you have done. He should have given you the kick at the time, because this always just goes slowly, inexorably, down the toilet.
You're the pendulum, swinging. He's the clock, staying still. What you need to do is change the dynamic. You need to stop moving.
I recommend counselling. You have to learn how to handle your guilt in such a way that you are a stable force and are not overworking to redeem yourself.
Because you're now moving towards the resentment phase, where you are sick of feeling guilty and trying hard to atone for something you did that was wrong that you have been forgiven for. You were never forced to atone. You have taken that on as your kind of recompense for something you did wrong: so for you to resent doing it is another insult to your husband's patience tbh. The fact is you have been forgiven, I assume, and so you have to learn how to put it all behind you.