Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
i have told two people I don't see the point in living anymore and they just ignored it. I feel so alone. I can't seem to open up to people and tell them how bad it is and how much I think about ending my life because I feel like I'll let people down. I have to talk myself out of killing myself almost daily. At this point but son is the only reason I don't slit my wrist which oddly makes me resent him. I resent my child because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have to keep living with the pain I feel everyday. I don't want to feel that way about him because I love him but it's getting to hard to want to keep living.
Resentment towards the one innocent person sent as a gift to help you shows you that your resentment runs deeper than your son and is the very thing you need help in changing and resolving. Resentment can change. I have worked mine to freedom here and now.
Your body might die but you would take your resentment with you and be just as miserable or worse on the other side of death's door. You are to find freedom here and in this life so you can take that freedom with you when it is really your time--like maybe after when you get to enjoy your son's grandkids.
Life is worth living and you have been given this life to enjoy and overcome challenges. You are worth living no matter what you feel because feelings come and go.
Find something fun or fumny to help you laugh. Laughter is a healer and can help lighten your mood. It also helps us not focus on the pain and resentment. You aren't a slave to your resentment and anger, you are the master of your feelings. You have incredible power to choose what you think about and why you think those thoughts. Angry with someone you feel has ruined your life? Find anger management sites or books on anger from your library.
There are solutions to your pain and problems even if you haven't found them yet.
Your job is to find those solutions. You owe it to your son. You owe it to yourself. Be kind to you. That alone will change how you think about you. Be kind to you. You are loved and loveable. You are needed and wanted in this world. Actions change feelings so take good and kind actions towards yourself instead of evil dark thoughts of self-harm.
Feelings come from our thoughts. Change your thinking and your feelings will change. You can overcome this no matter what or how other people have hurt you. I have been shredded with the rejection of others and pierced through with intense betrayal and brokenheartedness but that didn't stop me from getting better and overcoming my bitterness and it doesn't have to stop you either.
I'm glad your son is also the one keeping you alive. Motherhood can be daunting and lonely from time to time. It's a huge responsibility that sometimes one wish that she can just run away. I'm glad you didn't choose to end your life or run away. Motherhood, though daunting, it's immensely rewarding too, if you could just hang in there, take a step forward each day. Your son will thank you for your effort one day despite of your challenges. If you are able to, maybe find a counsellor or therapist whom you can speak with. It might help. Be well and take care. God bless!