Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members

160,807 Posts

2 Online

Anna1212 05/08/2018

so I called the suicide hotline and she transferred me to a local number which bothered me but I called it and got a girl who i talked to briefly who made me feel worse. God.

Loneliness is awful. It's the worst.

I'm having medical problems that are really scary for me now and I'm having trouble with work due to exhaustion and stress overload.

Sometimes at night I feel like my heart just might stop beating. I don't think it's anxiety it's almost like, my heart is saying fuck it, end this shit, and is trying to do me favor by just stopping. Isn't that what I want? I don't know. I'm terrified of death. I like to fantasize about it but that's it.

I have so much responsibility, stress, worry, medical stuff, no help... I feel like I'm just going to stop. Stop going to work, stop getting out of bed, stop showering or trying to fix up the house and yard, ... If I stop work i'm fucked. I'm doomed for sure. I'll be heading out to the street with no medical insurance since I live paycheck to paycheck and I'm in my 50's.

My body just wants to stop. It really does. I only have one day of sick leave.

Thank you for listening to my whining. I feel so terribly lonely. When I go out in the world, I don't seem to get along with anyone. Here, people seem to understand me and offer some kindness and support. That's what I need. I need someone to tell me I'm not a freak and that everything's going to be ok and that I'm not alone and all that stuff... I need to believe that even if it's not true. I need to believe in something. Even just trying to get through each day, one day at a time isn't working anymore. It feels like this worsening nightmare.

That girl on the suicide line seemed like a little snot. She was officious and not in the least bit warm or friendly. I don't know how much longer I can be alone like this.

TotalRegret 05/08/2018

Hi Wendy. You're not alone! I've used the online chat helpline many times and it's exactly the same every time - I'm looking for some kind of interaction, but all I get is condescending trash like "oh, that must make you feel bad..." Like you, I always end up feeling worse, but as you say, we have each other on here for support. We don't need to explain our stuff because everybody already gets it - we live the same nightmares, share the same fears and experience that same disconnection from the world around us. We feel lonely, but on here, we are never alone, and just like you feel the support of others, they also feel supported by you.

Loneliness sucks. Anxiety sucks. Fear sucks. Physical symptoms of stress suck. But know that you are enough. You can fight these things, not because you want to 'survive' but because you want to 'live.' Accept the things you cannot change and have courage to change the things you can. We're with you Wendy!! TR

Anna1212 05/08/2018

Thank you so much. What you wrote it so beautiful and kind. thanks for making me feel so much less alone.

Corriegirl 05/09/2018

One lesson I have learned is that, no matter how bad things become, there is always one person that crosses my path that makes me needed how much the world needs me. The universe speaks loudly to our heart where we need to serve. Our minds fabricate lies that everything is against us and unfortunately we get push a little more in a downward spiral, until that one soul finds us and says, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL in every single way. The entire world is your playground. You harness the power to change anything and everything in your life when you reach deep inside and own your purpose.

sonnycamehome 05/09/2018

Hi Wendy, I'm sorry you're struggling. I can certainly understand having medical problems and living check to check. It's super stressful, and definitely takes its toll on you. It may feel like you don't have time right now, but now is the time when you need to practice good self care the most. Make sure you're eating enough, hydrating, getting a little physical activity, and doing activities that you find restful and enjoyable.

I know it didn't work out well, but it was so brave of you to reach out to the suicide hotline. It takes courage to reach out for support! I'm sorry the girl you spoke with was useless, but that doesn't make you any less courageous for reaching out for help. Please don't stop reaching out! You are worthy of friendship and support.

Anna1212 05/09/2018

Thank you everyone for replying. That really helps me. I called the hotline again this morning and got a better person. not the local hotline, the main one, the national suicide hotline. they seem to be better trained and nicer or something. it was some help. I have all this pressure built up inside and talking relieved a little of it and so does coming here. thank you so much again. I am grateful for your support.

rcurtis1010 05/09/2018

If you ever need someone to talk to I'm on here daily, you can always message me. I'm here to listen and offer support. You definitely are not alone. never feel that way when youre on here

Alone88 05/09/2018

Wendy123, I just want you to know that , you're not alone. So many of us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you. I totally can relate to your situation. I cant even sleep in the bedroom at night anymore, I feel suffocated in a closed door. I've been sleeping on the couch these past few days, I get 3-4 hours of sleep every night. If you ever need someone to talk, message me anytime. lets do it together. lets beat loneliness and depression together. hugs

eli_mom 05/10/2018

Hi Wendy- I’m so sorry that you feel this way. Don’t go through loneliness alone, please know that we are here and we care for you.

When my father was diagnosed with some medical problems, we also lived from paycheck to paycheck. I saw him hopeless and terribly sad. Thankfully, he has a friend who has been so loyal to him, in my father’s sad moments, his friend was there. We are also here for you, you can message us anytime.

I hope you will not give up knowing that this season is not forever. Keep us posted, you are in my prayers. God bless.

Anna1212 05/10/2018

Thank you everyone for writing. Your messages help keep me going. I usually write more on my journal than the main board. So much understanding and wisdom here. very grateful. Peace.

GardenLass 05/10/2018

Wendy, Wendy, You are never alone and you do not have to listen to such a foul and profane voice in you. That is the voice of evil, beautiful lady and you do not need to give into it.....EVER! You are a wonderfully and fearfully created person made for love, joy, and peace. You were never made for such pollution.

Have you ever heard of word clouds? They are clouds of words that convey a message. I want you to do this for you and me and everyone else in this thread. Create a word cloud. If you do not have a dry erase board or chalk board, get one from Amazon and look for thier best deals. Hand it on the wall in you kitchen. Start writing words on it. Start with Love, Joy, Hope, Peace, Kindness, Honor, Serenity, Faith, Honor, Purity, etc. keep writing words until the board is full and read them over and over again until they sink in. The next exercise is to stop watching all the popular TV programs, blockbuster movies, and not listen to music that is angry in tone or horrific. Be selective about what you read, listen to, and watch. Start with books like chicken soup for the soul, which you can find at a used books store. No more horror movies, violent movies, movies that want to tell God to condemn it, whatever it is. What you put into you is what will build up in you and eventually spill out; however, the greater the evil in the entertainment the more harmful it is for yoru spirit and heart.

jannytheresa 05/10/2018

So sorry that you're having such a hard time. Years ago I called a crisis line and the woman who answered told me that unless I was suicidal that she did not have time to talk. Now that makes sense, not.
Let's wait until you've got a gun to your head. Wish we had a warm chat
line on DS.

Anna1212 05/10/2018

janny, that's a good idea. I like the writing part of it on this site but it would be nice to include a chat line. sometimes it really helps to hear a human voice and connect that way. the crisis lines now will talk to you even if you are not suicidal. i'm sorry you had that experience. I've called about 5 times in the last year of so. it's not ideal but it's something. have a good night. hugs.

Join the Conversation