I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best in this journey. I, too, downsized after my separation and spent almost a year overScheduling myself. Classes, hobbies, work, parties. I was so frustrated and overwhelmed.

But afraid to stop because I would have to face the quiet and what was ultimately in my head. Now I'm in it and it is so hard. Incredibly hard.

I give you a ton of credit for facing it.

Acceptance is very important as you stated, as well is acknowledgment of your situation. I own a double wide Mobile Home and I can always find something to do if I put my mind to it. Of course I now take care of my mother which includes doing all of her laundry, cooking 3 meals a day, her shopping in which I have to walk because I don't have a car, and I clean the entire Mobile which is a 2 bedroom 2 bath. There is always something to do if we really think about it. What I give you a lot of credit for, is that you are learning that being in your own company can be just as good, if not better sometimes, than being around people who just don't make you as happy as you can make yourself. Are you able to walk to the store? Walk around your Mobile Home Park and get to know your neighbors that you can spend a little time with, or none at all when you choose not to? I walk my dog 3 times a day around mine and I meet a lot of my neighbors but I don't feel obligated to talk forever, just as long as I feel the need to in order to get some human contact. Just because my mother lives with me, doesn't mean I am not lonely at times. Have you thought about possibly painting your place? That takes awhile to do and is very fulfilling. It took me 2 months to paint my kitchen. Just a thought. I think you are doing very well! Hugs Gramybear

I think you raise a very good point ....an alone journey .....so long as it is a journey and you are not just being stagnant ...and not moving forward in your thinking .....we all at some point get lonely ...we were made to need others ....even if it is just a cupel of people we were not meant to be alone but there are many ..people who have taken simpler journeys. looking for .something ...inside them or something spiritual. enlightenment ....but the way they go about it is mostly through some kind of prayer ..or meditation .....so you could try that it would help you on this journey ........ .......you are right the mind can be a dangerous place to hang around in so you have to master it .....when you feel you have learned things about your self and the world around you ..and your place in it ..and ...what you want to accomplish ......and the most important thing you can learn what we are here for is to learn to love uncondishionaly ...so ..when you can learn to love your self ...I think you will be ready to come back to the world and look for ways to have contact with others .....look at what your community has to offer look at the churches and what they have to offer ....it is something you will have to put time and evert into .......when I was young I had to share a room with two sisters ...when I got older ...13 I finale got my Owen room down stares .....and when I left home my first home was a camp we winterized ..very small ....so I have never lived in a big place ....I don't know that I could be comfortable ...in a big place ..I would be worried if someone was coming in a window because I wouldn't be able to see all the rooms from my living room and here someone from any ware in the house ...lol .........but I can imagine ....what a big change you went through ... and I know it will take a lot of getting use to .....but you can't be looking back ...you need to live in the present not the past and not the future .....the present ....one day at a time ......I hope you find acceptance in every sense of the word .............and keep coming here .. this is good for you .......................take good care of your self ...I keep you in my prayers ...god bless .