Please leave him. Im in the same position and if you see a way out take it.

I can't help but feel everything is my fault. I so wanted him to be my Prince Charming. He whisked me off my feet and things were magic at the start. Now I'm here lost and slowly loosing myself.

You need to get out of there. There is no relationship there to save. Leave before the abuse becomes physical.

How do you decide what to do?.....Ummm..did you read what you just wrote? This guy isn't worth the energy you waste on him. You need to leave and let him deal with his drinking problem and his mistress on his own....neither of those are your problem or your doing. This guy isn't worth your time.

it's kind of fun being in the middle of a melodrama. High passion, full on entertainment. Lots of tears, lots of crying, lots of excitement. Lots to do... lots going on. Great for short term, great for cool stories to tell the grandkids. Very good life experience really.

But at some point it's going to go stale on you. You won't be a gorgeous young thing drunk on tequila passionately shouting at an unfaithful husband any more. You'll be older. Wrinkly. Your hair will be dyed and the grey roots will be showing. Your tits will start to sag....

If you have children, they'll have no respect for you. If you have sisters and brothers, they won't come around any more. It'll be you and loverboy, when loverboy's home.

It's good to get out of that environment before you end up there.

But be careful, because a lot of women end up there simply by virtue of never doing anything to change it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTI_4Pt2yDk

Oh by the way he's rarking himself up to ditch you for the crime of walking down the road with no shoes so that he can get off the hook for giving himself gonorrhoea with the town bike. Just saying. He's cranking himself up to be the good guy, the wronged party, the poor abused spouse.

far out.

You are in control of this situation and in no way should blame yourself or continue to take the abuse. Abusers are manipulative and controlling and tell you what they think you want to hear. This continues until you make a stand for yourself and get the help you deserve. Can you get to a safe shelter in the area or a distance away? Are there any support groups you can attend for encouragement or help to do what is best for you and your health, emotionally and physically? Do you have family that will help and support you? I understand what you are saying, I was in an abusive situation for 8 years with a drug addicted alcoholic husband. My family wanted to help me but I thought I was going to fix the situation myself. He refused counseling and made fun of AA meetings. In the long run I was falling apart mentally and physically from the emotional, physical and verbal abuse. Sadly it does not stop until you decide what you need to do. We tend to get angry when there is no quick fix and they don't listen to us or respect us. You have the control here to do what is necessary, you matter and are worthy of respect. Abusers try to keep us dependent on them, but when you are determined , nothing can stop you. Can I suggest a couple of hotline numbers? You may be able to find the help, support and answers you are seeking. The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is 1-800-799-7233 and Safehorizon -1800-621--4673

bit.ly/2skASK8