Anxiety and depression can be a double whammy. It's good that you recognize what things are harmful to you and that you want to make changes. I know how difficult it can be to move your action into the same place as your desire to do something. Maybe start with developing some tools to help you reduce the anxiety, this might actually achieve giving you some more energy to actually begin to make the changes you desire.
I use a couple of different tools. One of the easiest tools to start using , though it can be difficult to maintain it at first, is called mindfulness. It is being totally in the present and noticing everything around you in whatever you are doing. so if you are vegetating on the couch at first, you begin by taking in everything you can see, all the colours and objects around them. mentally notice them, them notice sounds around you, notice what you smell or taste, notice how each part of your body feels to you, any pains , or if the air is warm or cool on your skin. it takes a little while to notice all the elements of the present moment and what ever you are doing while you are aware of the present moment is all you do during that moment. So if you are say washing dishes, you notice all the elements around you and you think about the dishes you are washing you notice them what they feel like how long they take to rinse. all those details. Now what this achieves, if you continue to keep practicing it every chance you get, is keeps your mind off of you anxiety.
this reduces your stress. When you are stressed, your body releases Cortisol. The higher the level of Cortisol in your body, the more likely your mood and energy level is going to crash, hence depression and being too tired to do anything.

this is just one tool i use, I also use lots of music to keep my mind on the present and off of my anxiety.

another thing I use is creativity. I draw or write or do something else creative to keep my mind centered in the now.

I don't know if any of these will work for you but it is a place to start and maybe from them you will go on to find and discover what does work for you.

triple hugs of support

I honestly understand. I usually dig my fingernails into my hands and I just want to stay in my bed. It is so hard to force myself to get out of bed in the morning.

Hello Musicgirl and Arianna. Please re-read Nancy"s post - she has given you loads of information, understanding and coping methods to help you to help yourselves. It would seem to me that she knows from experience what she is talking about, so give her advice a try - can't hurt and you may end up feeling in control of yourselves, like you're the boss and proud of it too.

Sending warm hugs and high fives all around.

Thanks for the advice . Going on day three of constant urges to harm :(