My mom is 82.  I know I've been lucky to have her a really long time. I'm always afraid of losing my parents, but I know it's inevitable.  She called me today and told me that last week my dad took her to the hospital, she was there three  days for really high blood pressure.

I'm pretty much estranged from my familiy because my brother and father and very violent. I see my mom sporadically. I was really sad about it, and scared.  I'm getting older mysefl, have no husband or kids. I have some friends, but I'm basically alone in this world. I don't want to be without my mom, I love my mom.  I know that it's only normal for us to lose our parents at some point. I just feel like I haven't accomplished much in this life, I work paycheck to paycheck, it's hard, and I only survive because I rent a house from her. I recently got accepted to graduate school to better myself, and about seven years ago or so, I decided that I would take a better career path to better support myself as I know they would not be here forever. I just wish I would have succeeded better earlier.  

I haven't told my parents I was accepted to engineering school. I am just afraid that they wouldn't understand my need to change and that they are afraid that I am letting go of my fulltime job. I know I am making the right decision for the long term. Maybe if I frame in in terms of, "Now I will be able to take care of myself better, especially when the time comes when I don't have you anymore," maybe they will feel better about it.

I'm estranged from my brother. We got in a big fight on Christmas of 2015 as he physcially abused me and bullied me and I blew up saying after our parents were gone that he had to find his own way. This really made my mom and dad feel bad. I know it wasn't a nice thing to say, however he is quite vicious and abusive.

I just hope my mom is alright, at least for a good while. It makes me sad. She sounded really shaky on the phone.