Heretic, I'm sorry you had to experience this so close to you. I know a lot of us feel this way at times. But, we have to keep going and keep looking for the light and comfort in things. Your friend's path is not the way to go. You know that. But, I understand how it could trigger these thoughts and that is so hard.

(I want to hug you.)

Heretic, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this with your coworker and that it triggered those feelings for you as well. I battled suicidal feelings for years and years and thought that I would never be free of them. I really did believe that I would always be suicidal, but today I am free of that and I know that if I can be free of those thoughts and feelings, then so can you. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. Please know that I am here if you want to talk.

What A Tragedy......... I am so sorry.

Please don't envy your friend............ He gave up. That is never the answer.

Much Love And Healing to You .

I am so sorry about your co worker. But, he was not a hero or stronger than you. It takes more strength to not give yourself.

ZAZAS is right, it takes more strength and courage to keep living through this hell than to give up and give in. My compassion and understanding go out to you heretic, please don't beat yourself up over what you should or shouldn't have said to your coworker. Nothing would have made a difference if that was the path he had already chosen. Stay strong and you're in my prayers. ((hug))

Roxie

I am so sorry about the tragic, sad passing of your coworker; very sorry you had to go through this heretic.. I agree with ZAZAS that is takes way more strength and much more courage to live through dark, depressing, hard times

You are not alone heretic, keep reaching out. Prayers and good thoughts being sent to you.....hugs

So sorry .........

Please don't "should" on yourself. I should have talked to them more, I should have tried harder. What happened was Their responsibility not your's. It belonged/s to Them.

Allow the grief, anger, and sorrow that follows .... listen to that instead of your false guilt.

In your mind and heart, imagine them surrounded in White Light.

You know thats not our path. He didnt have the help like we do. If I hadnt come across this site, who knows where I would be, but Im thankful to be alive.

I would be in the same postition as you right now. We have to live, we have to let others know we feel like them, and save them. Thats how I view it.

Just by one of us saying to someone "Hey it will be okay, just breath." We could be saving lives. So I hang on not for me, or for my family or friends anymore, its for you guys/girls here. I fight for you.

So that keeps me going, and I hope it keeps others going as well. I think of all the you people that say they want to go...and I tell them these things pass, and they do, they come and go.

So with how long you have been around you have knowledge to pass down to the younger ones who dont know what to do, and thats fight.

Im sorry you are going though this, hang in there and save lives.

M.

Heretic, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I agree with the other posters that is very sad, but definitely not the way to go. I hope you will continue talking with your therapist about this. Hugs.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had been deeply depressed these last couple of months. It is starting to lift a bit. When I feel badly I try to remember better days. This too shall pass.

Hugs

Heretic, I am sorry about your friend. Dont think you dont have courage to do it. Instead you have the courage to stay and face what comes each day. It does show how this problem is really kept in the dark. Prayers are with you.

hi heretic, long time no see. sorry to hear about your co-worker. sounds like things haven't changed for you much. not sure what to say, except that i feel for you.

I am so sorry you've lost a friend. This is one of the hardest things to deal with in life.

I've found that because of recent losses in my family, I was desiring death to perhaps come visit me, too. It seems as if it would be the answer to stop all the pain, sometimes. But it really isn't.

Carrying on, I've been gieven a glimpse of what life would be like without me, for the loved ones who remain. It would be terrible. So I fight on.

We all contribute something great and mysterious and profound to our surroundings. We're tempted to believe we don't, but we absolutely do! For instance, you have numerous times given me the courage to speak up about how I'm really feeling, instead of just keeping mumm about it. You would be terribly missed.

Hugs, I get it.

I wasn't going to reply to this post because it brought such sad emotions to me and after reading the posts, I felt that I should. I am truly sorry for your loss and I can understand what you are feeling so much. I just lost my ex husband about 5 weeks ago to suicide. He had been my friend for 42 years. He was a very strong family man and we use to fight because he was so controlling. We were all in shock when we got the news because that just wasn't his style at all. After getting more facts, we found out that he had been losing weight at an alarming rate, couldn't hold food down, he was forgetting things and just not himself, and much more then that but I'll leave it at that. We don't always know what causes a person to be so desperate, that they would go that far. But please don't feel that you wish you had the guts to do it. It doesn't take guts,. (We think he had a brain tumor and will know when the autopsy report comes back). I have had suicidal thoughts many times throughout my life and I tell my doctor's all the time, However, I also tell them that for me, it's a sin and I wouldn't do it.
And I hope and pray that you will never do it either. I too wish I would have had more time with him before it happened. So many things I could have said, but he had a wife and it wasn't my place.
I still think of him on a daily basis. no, my ex was not a hero, and he wasn't stronger then you. It just saddens me that we won't have him with us anymore. And the ones that are really suffering our his wife, children, and grandchildren. Please be good to yourself and don't let it get so bad that you act on it. Let the people here help you, doctors, whoever it takes.