Well, you've taken a great step in 1) recognizing what the problems are and 2) reaching out here. :)

You said meds don't work but have you tried any therapy? If that's not an option, then you may have to work harder on the basic things to get better: exercise, sleep, a really good diet, and examining the ways your thinking may be counterproductive.

This link shows thinking patterns that depressed people have, in case you didn't know about them.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-common-cognitive-distortions/

Sometimes just catching those negative patterns and working to change them can be a big help.

Also, think about what sets off your temper (other than depression). Does it happen when you're tired, overwhelmed, stressed out? Is it hormone-related? Sometimes just paying attention to how you feel physically can help you catch/prevent an angry outburst.

I can relate to the bad temper issue. When my depression wasn't treated, I was always irritable and flying off the handle.

As for asking for help, I can also relate to not wanting to admit you need help. But sometimes it's the only way to get help! ;) Is there one person you trust more than anybody else? I know you lost your grandfather; I'm really sorry about that. Anybody else you could talk to?

I am thankful that I have done the first step to recovery... The medication did not work and therapy was even worse than the medication for me. I am working very hard now to get on the right track and get back to my normal self. I haven't tried examining what I am thinking and that might help me more than anything else. I find myself thinking a lot more than I should about things that sometimes don't even matter. I have a lot of negative patterns and I am trying to break those as well with dealing with depression. My temper goes off for no reason sometimes I will be sitting there and I just fly off the handle at anyone and sometimes everyone for no reason. I don't like to do that but my temper goes off very easy and sometimes for nothing. I think a lot of it is caused from thinking way to much and trying to fix everything at once. I never like asking for help but it has gotten so bad that I had no choice but to ask for help. I am very glad that you responded to my post thank you so much

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. You've admitted that you need help so that's the first step. It's hard to ask for help, but once you do, I bet you will start to feel a little better. You might be surprised with how supportive your loved ones are with your depression. I was when I was more honest with my friends/family. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right medication that works for you. And even then, it usually takes a mixture of medication, therapy, and exercise to deal with depression

I feel a little better since I have been open and asked for help with my depression. I have been going through this since I was 5 years old due to family issues and ect... I am doing the best I can for now but I have tried almost every anti depression there is and none of them work for me. I am going to try my therapy and see how well it works. Talking and writing help me more than anything else that I have ever tried. I am at a crossroads with this and I am so glad that I have so much support. Thank you for your advice it means so much xoxo Heather