My daughter Cadence Rose was born on November 4th, 2011. She was stillborn due to very traumatic abuse I suffered at the hands of my owner. I was in human trafficking at the time. I was never taken for any appointments for ultrasounds or did I get to make those cute gender reveal posts on Facebook. I never got to frame the untrasound pictures or give the pregnancy test to the father and record his reaction. I never got to celebrate her first christmas. I never got to dress her up on Halloween. I never got to hold her in my arms and watch her chest rise and fall. I never got to see her smile. I never got to measure her height on the wall. I never got to go school shopping. I wont be able to take her to her first day of kindergarten. I wont be able to watch her score the winning goal in a soccer team, or cheer for her school. I wont be able to teach her to drive or talk to her about falling in love. I wont be able to see her get her license. I wont be able to watch her get her diploma and I wont be able to watch her walk down the aisle. I wont be able to hold her hand while she delivers a grandbaby. I wont be able to watch her grow and be successful. All I got was a baby who was there one minute, alive and kicking inside me, then the next moment she was gone. My only job was to protect her, and I couldnt. I always question what she would look like today. Would she still have that blondish hair she had when she was born? Hazel eyes? What would her first word have been? Every year around her birthday, I buy a pair of shoes. The average size for a child her age. This year I bought a pair of pink and gray tennis shoes. She would be going into kindergarten. Instead, shes in heaven with her aunt. I can only hope she looks down on me and is happy where she is. I just wish I knew so I didnt have to feel so awful wondering. 5 years gone, but not forgotten.