Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So I have been friends with my best friend since we were six. As we have grown and changed into different people we have stayed friends despite the odds. We are polar opposites in many many ways but we make it work even though the past half decade we get on each others nerves more than we have gotten along. The past year she has met someone. I was excited at first. I have had a long term bf for seven years and always felt she deserved someone too.
Then I caught him in a bar grinding on some strange girl, when I went out with my college friends...and my excitement faded to rage. It wasn't innocent dancing he was basically humping her on the dance floor...it was disgusting. After almost two decades of friendship my best friend has become like family. When I saw him with the girl I was so mad. I didn't get a chance to voice my dissension because as soon as he made eye contact he came marching over. He started screaming in my face that my friend did not care about what I said. My opinion about men is shit to her.
Admittedly my best friend probably doesn't care very much about whether I think her bf's an ideal mate based on his personality. My own bf has always been a bit of trouble....I fell for the bad boy. She has had more sense than me to fall for stable guys. My bf has become stable after time....and has been sober two years almost now. She has jokingly but somewhat meanly stated my opinion of men is least valued considering my ex roster... Anyways I shouted that I think she would care he was humping some girl in a bar...then my college friends came over and started to berate him with insults. I did not insult him back because I didn't want to upset my friend. I'd be mad if she insulted my bf. As soon as we left the bar I called her as did he.
She was upset with him. She yelled at him for talking to me how he did...but she forgave him. I officially put up a wall when it came to him. When we hung out I would listen to what she said about him both good and bad...then I would half heartedly comment on the situation. I never really spoke too bad about him but she knows I dislike him a lot.
Fast forward to today. She calls me and says they are engaged. Over the past two years he has been very insensitive to her. He drinks and treats her like shit, he was all on that girl at the bar and he is just never very there for her mentally. I am so pissed she is marrying him after two years...it seems so stupid to me to rush into something like this especially with him. I have dated my bf for seven years and we aren't even married yet.
I think she is making a major mistake. She has named me maid of honor but I half feel like vomiting and part of me does not want to support the union at all. Not to mention I will have to interact with him in a somewhat civil manner and I have never been great at being fake. I'm so depressed and angry but when she told me I had to repress that and say I was happy for her because it felt like the right thing to do. I'm not sure how to continue from here...I'm just mad...upset...and irritated over the entire thing.
Then I caught him in a bar grinding on some strange girl, when I went out with my college friends...and my excitement faded to rage. It wasn't innocent dancing he was basically humping her on the dance floor...it was disgusting. After almost two decades of friendship my best friend has become like family. When I saw him with the girl I was so mad. I didn't get a chance to voice my dissension because as soon as he made eye contact he came marching over. He started screaming in my face that my friend did not care about what I said. My opinion about men is shit to her.
Admittedly my best friend probably doesn't care very much about whether I think her bf's an ideal mate based on his personality. My own bf has always been a bit of trouble....I fell for the bad boy. She has had more sense than me to fall for stable guys. My bf has become stable after time....and has been sober two years almost now. She has jokingly but somewhat meanly stated my opinion of men is least valued considering my ex roster... Anyways I shouted that I think she would care he was humping some girl in a bar...then my college friends came over and started to berate him with insults. I did not insult him back because I didn't want to upset my friend. I'd be mad if she insulted my bf. As soon as we left the bar I called her as did he.
She was upset with him. She yelled at him for talking to me how he did...but she forgave him. I officially put up a wall when it came to him. When we hung out I would listen to what she said about him both good and bad...then I would half heartedly comment on the situation. I never really spoke too bad about him but she knows I dislike him a lot.
Fast forward to today. She calls me and says they are engaged. Over the past two years he has been very insensitive to her. He drinks and treats her like shit, he was all on that girl at the bar and he is just never very there for her mentally. I am so pissed she is marrying him after two years...it seems so stupid to me to rush into something like this especially with him. I have dated my bf for seven years and we aren't even married yet.
I think she is making a major mistake. She has named me maid of honor but I half feel like vomiting and part of me does not want to support the union at all. Not to mention I will have to interact with him in a somewhat civil manner and I have never been great at being fake. I'm so depressed and angry but when she told me I had to repress that and say I was happy for her because it felt like the right thing to do. I'm not sure how to continue from here...I'm just mad...upset...and irritated over the entire thing.
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Do you think anxiety is genetic or comes from your environment? What are your thoughts?
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Many of you know Mr K told me to "shut your mouth" in March 2025 when we took a road trip to Alpena Michigan. Since that time, we have had lots of ups and downs but I have never intentionally hurt Mr K in anyway. And when we first started dating in 2024 he let me know, although he is an engineer by degree, he has an extremely low EQ. Overall, he is ok (not off the charts nice like other guys in...
You can't control what others choose to do, only how you react. Get over it.
Not sure why this is in the crisis board tho.
The thing you learn in life is sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes. It is difficult seeing someone make a terrible decision, but love is blind. They need to see it for themselves. In my friend's case, it took him making the decision to divorce.
I also think you are not the right person to bring this up because of your own history. You have a bf that was trouble and apparently cleaned up his act so she is probably seeing your example and could be thinking her bf will clean up his act in time. Usually they don't, but it's going to sound hypocritical for you to say this guy is a jerk and won't change...if you have your own former jerk that changed.
It is frustrating because you don't want to see her get hurt, but being angry doesn't solve a thing. You can either choose to be her friend and put on your best face or you could end the friendship. If you choose to 'protest' this wedding so to speak you have to prepare for the end of the friendship.
I also don't think it is rushing things to be engaged after two years. I do think she is a little young, but two years sounds normal to me. They could be together for 3-4 years by time the wedding takes place unless they rush down the aisle. Although you later say they've been together one year so I don't know which is it.