So yesterday, was my grandmom's (Mum-mum) birthday. I went to the cemetery and sat next her plot and told her how much I loved her, spoke to her, read poetry and inspirational material, told her about things going on in the present. But it never gets any easier. I was a fuckin' mess and I feel depleted and a mess today. But without all the constant tears. I always have a hard time when it comes to visiting her. I started this new therapy group, DBT. Right now, we're doing 1 hr sessions, 1 day a week for 8 weeks. It's an introduction/orientation to see if we want to commit ourselves into being in a 2 hrs., 2 days a week for a year. It's a very intense program. You have to be committed and present. They have a high success rate. So I'm hoping it helps. I'm super depressed right now. I'm so resentful, I'm so angry right now. I'm so angry with my brother, he didn't even respond to goin to the cemetery to see my grandma. I texted, I sent a video message, no response! I have so much anger and resentment toward my husband. So much, that I wanna move out but being on SSDI, it's hard to just move out cause you're on a fixed income. Not that we live in the most expensive neighborhood, but it still a little expensive. I can move in with people I know but the thing is, when you're horribly depressed and you're isolating, you don't wanna be bothered with people. You really don't wanna move in with anyone else, I'd rather stay where the hell I am. He is not very supportive, he doesn't understand what I'm going through, he makes me angry a lot, he says things to get under my skin, etc.and  He is not the man I thought he was gonna be. It's like when I met him he was trying to be like this awesome person but then as time went on, I mean he does have good qualities but like when it comes to showing empathy and sensitivity for someone with mental illness, he doesn't know shit or how to act. He doesn't know how to do things or say things to not trigger me. And he seems to always do something to trigger me or he loses his own temper and his own shit over stupid things, and I do mean very stupid things because he has not come to term and dealt with his own past issues. I find myself always wanting to hurt him physically in some way or I just don't want him here. I don't know. I let y'all know how therapy goes tomorrow. This is my 3rd session. Hugs to all!!