So i was very depressed and down lastnight and was thinking to myself - i wish my best guy friend Micheal was available to talk to- i've known him for about 3-4 years now... next thing i know - i hear my cell ringing and i pick it up-its Micheal ! i almost cried- he says whats wrong Brandi? and i told him and he says get over that jerk u are too good for him... and he isn't worth it- but he said it in such a way that i laughed and laughed.... he can always make me laugh or smile... he now lives 4 hours from me with his fiance and her family- i miss it when he lived 30 mins from me- even when we couldn't see each other - we would stay up from 10 til dawn the next day just talking to each other about anything and everything.... he used to call me and sing "We Belong Together" to me and i would just giggle and say yeah ok .....and roll my eyes- but secretly i loved it and he knew- so he would always sing it... he is starting his life with his woman and they are expecting their first child- and his 3rd child in october- it makes me happy to have such a wonderful guy in my life- but also sad cause what if one day he gets too busy for me and i fade away? i don't think i could deal with that... he is the only man who has ever told me that our friendship means more to him than any relationship... his fiance and i have worked out our differences and became friends- mostly cause he told her- Brandi is my best friend and nothing will ever change that... i know we tried to date twice and it didn't work out cause neither one of us could really make the other happy.... i want to be his best friend and support him so much- but i feel very selfish cause i still wish we were both single and could get drunk together over the phone and then later when we were sober confess to each other about our lives and what is going on- he was there with me when my first love died- and my mom and he and his family are the only ones who got me through it...Micheal is my rock- he is the guy who gives me faith that there are good guys out there.... but i just wish he would take me in his arms and hug me while i cry and say its ok ....i know that is not right or possible since he has his woman now....its like we have esp though- when one of us needs the other- we always find a way whether its email or phoning or writing letters- the things we've shared will never be shared with anyone else... and though he is engaged- i am the one with his pics of him as a child- he told me- u keep them... and i have- they are close to my heart......as he will always be.... no matter where i am in life or what relationship i have- they will have to accept that Micheal is a part of my life and a big one and i'm not willing to let go of that- for anyone or anything...