Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I haven't posted here in a long time and when I do come here I tend to focus on helping others, which is fine but I also need help for myself and often dont' reach out or ask for help. I try to keep everything "stuffed" down so that I won't have to talk about it and the results are not good.
Anyway, I had a lot of abuse by my dad growing up. It was so bad that I have been on disability for the past 22 years as a result and have not been able to work or go back to school.
My problem is that now my dad pays for a lot of things for us like he bought us our house that is a very nice 3 bedroom ranch, he pays for my son''s private school, bought us our car and the list goes on and on.
Yes in some ways it might seem like my dad has changed and is trying to make it up to me but at the same time I really do hate the man and am still afraid of him even. I wish I could pay my own way through life and not have to have him do it all for me.
It was hard to accept things from him but I did it for my son and my husband. I just don't know how to get better though as long as my dad is part of my life. I am always afraid and right now I feel very uncertain since I am alone in the house right now and my son is at his grandmas and my husband had to work today even though it's a Saturday.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. I guess I am just looking for feedback and support.
Thanks.
Anyway, I had a lot of abuse by my dad growing up. It was so bad that I have been on disability for the past 22 years as a result and have not been able to work or go back to school.
My problem is that now my dad pays for a lot of things for us like he bought us our house that is a very nice 3 bedroom ranch, he pays for my son''s private school, bought us our car and the list goes on and on.
Yes in some ways it might seem like my dad has changed and is trying to make it up to me but at the same time I really do hate the man and am still afraid of him even. I wish I could pay my own way through life and not have to have him do it all for me.
It was hard to accept things from him but I did it for my son and my husband. I just don't know how to get better though as long as my dad is part of my life. I am always afraid and right now I feel very uncertain since I am alone in the house right now and my son is at his grandmas and my husband had to work today even though it's a Saturday.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. I guess I am just looking for feedback and support.
Thanks.
Does your father show any remorse for his actions, other than buying you stuff?
You can try to tell him that it is time to take money out of the equation. Remind him that he hurt you a lot in the past, and that you need to have the relationship between the two of you rise and fall based on the quality of the commitment and love rather than his check book.
I have no real idea how to word that to him.
Is your husband employed? Are there any other possible means of income? I know that's probably a silly question, because if that were the case you probably wouldn't be relying on your father.
Of course for the sake of your own life it would be better not to feel dependent on his help, especially when abuse has occurred. But I realize it's more complicated than that.
PepperMan nailed it. I would word it to your dad exactly like that, give or take a few words, depending on the specific parameters of your situation. I'd say that, while you appreciate his financial help (and need it, in fact), you'd like some sort of apology.
People have to take a test to drive but anyone with half a brain can reproduce, something is seriously wrong with this concept. My dad was a violent moron and he is lucky I didn't put him in a wheelchair and roll him off a cliff.