Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hi all,
can I honestly ask if it is a terrible thing to NOT want your parents in your life??? I feel terrible for not wanting to fix this anymore... I always was the one that kept my family together. The fixer, the youngest but eldest of my sisters to organise and create a wonderful family life with my parents... But lately it's like I've realised that my sadness and loneliness I feel from the estrangement has now turned into a mourning for the people I thought they were. I have analysed it to the very centre of each exact moment of when things changed and there is nothing I would or could have done differently being the person I am.
my daughter was sexually assaulted by my nephew and it IS NOT ok. It is not "normal" boyish behaviour. It was NO ACCIDENT. She had just turned 4 years old.... A Little innocent four year old precious girl with no idea about what was going to happen and what did they all do? They got mad and angry because my husband and I were not going to sweep it under the rug. There was little to NO support for all the appointments and interviews I had to take her to, the photographic evidence of the 3 layers of clothing, the video taped interview with the child assessment officer, the counselling home appointments they did while I watched her "play" for weeks afterwards.... And because I didn't want to see his face or hear his name - they chose to estrange ME! Us!!!!! My daughter lost her innocence and had to grow up fast because of that prick and no body taught him anything other then make excuses for his behaviour. The one time in my life I needed support from them instead of give it... I got nothing. I felt alone and weak. Guilt over ran thru my body for not having her with me at the hospital in emergency.... Having a miscarriage with her with me would've been a better option. But I didn't know. I couldn't have known because if I did I would have never left her with her favourite Aunty and cousins for a play on my dads birthday....
I miss having my parents and my two girls having grandparents to spoil them like they do truly deserve, but in order for that to happen that means I would have to fix it, and through my parents eyes fixing it means apologising when we have done nothing wrong.
So so my question is- how can I not be a terrible person for NOT wanting my parents around at the expense of loyalty to my girl. I know one day when she is older she won't question her mummy and daddy's loyalty at what they did for her and to protect her.... But il be honest, it is so hard. If they weren't my parents it would be so different...
They are in a hard situation, they have to make a choice between grandchildren. The easiest choice is to try to pretend it did not happen then they don't have to make a choice.
But it did happen, perhaps that is the hurdle they need to get over, but refuse to even think about it.
I doubt that you need our validation to support what you have done, but I totally understand and support your decision. That nephew must be stopped. if he suffers no consequences from this action he will do it again. And again. And again. And it will escalate as he repeats the action.
Gentle hugs
We sold our house and have moved- to get away from all the memories ... I have no contact with anyone.
I'm proud that we are strong enough to do that but in the same breathe I feel terrible that my daughter had to loose 7 of her cousins, 2 aunties, an uncle and a nanna and pop all at the same time. It furiates me to know that the innocent victim (my daughter) is left feeling like SHE has done something wrong because she hasn't got anyone around her now...
My husband and I are so protective of her and she is the strongest lil angel u will come across... biggest heart and if u have her a minute of ur time she would be ur best friend.
I know deep down the love that we have for her is more then 50 family members but it's just so disappointing.
I have my counselling today too so it's all on my mind. We are the ones left picking up the pieces while they get to move on with their fake meaningless pretend lives all together....
I like you was the one that was the grown up in the family and kept it all together. But that was not my job. It took me a long time to learn that and accept it. You have your own family now and they are your priority. Not to be preachy but as the bible says we need to cling to our spouse and let our parents go. Its ok to take care of your own family even if that means protecting them from you family of origin.
I am sorry for what you are going through it is a terrible situation. It's a situation that does happen in many families. Take care of you and be gentle with yourself. Take care of your immediate family and be gentle with them
You are an amazing mother. Thank you so much for choosing your little girl over those deplorable people. I am sorry for the pain you are going through. You don't deserve it. Hugs.