Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm having problems at night again. My mantra of "I want to die, I need to die, I deserve to die, please kill me," has never really gone away; I still say it to myself as I drift to sleep. Mostly now it's getting to sleep.
I've got a new therapist, and she's fine. Also on paxil, but forget to take it. Or really just never got into the habit of it. I'm afraid to really interact with people on a social level. I've gotten to be quite the hermit. Doc says I have avoidant personality disorder, which some things fit, others do not.
I'd give anything to be gone. I've done so much research on methods for suicide, I can recite them by heart. I've even tried to figure out how to hire someone. I really don't care about the effect of my death on family and friends. I just don't have anything to live for.
And so I lay here in bed, typing on my laptop, practically begging for death at midnight the 2nd day into the New Year.
I've got a new therapist, and she's fine. Also on paxil, but forget to take it. Or really just never got into the habit of it. I'm afraid to really interact with people on a social level. I've gotten to be quite the hermit. Doc says I have avoidant personality disorder, which some things fit, others do not.
I'd give anything to be gone. I've done so much research on methods for suicide, I can recite them by heart. I've even tried to figure out how to hire someone. I really don't care about the effect of my death on family and friends. I just don't have anything to live for.
And so I lay here in bed, typing on my laptop, practically begging for death at midnight the 2nd day into the New Year.
Not a big fan of medications of any kind myself. I kill myself with vigorous exercise, and it seems to work wonders for battling depression, restoring those wonderful "feel-good" endorphins in the brain, and helps me sleep like a baby at night, because, after a good sweat, I'm spent, exhausted.