same boat here. dr. says i abandon peole so they cant abandon me. People want to be my friends i jsut dont allow it. maybe u do the same thing.

I try very hard to make friends and it always seems to go fine and then they leave. Maybe I push them away? I don't know. It just upsets me that I can't keep a friend.

I don't think it's you at all. We live in a world that is often all surface, no depth. I feel the same way you do...that I'm trying, but nothing comes of it--it makes you want to stop trying. It's worse than primary school sometimes...who says it gets easier when you're an adult!? The people out there than you meet may be genuine, but sometimes it's hard to tell. Between narcissism, the rat race, and technology helping to keep everyone at arm's length, it *is* hard to make friends. The one thing you need to remember above all is this: do not blame yourself--nothing will come of putting guilt on top of your depression. Have you tried local interest groups? What do you like to do? Have you tried Meetup.com? (I don't know where you're located, but they may have an interest group in your area.) I was needing to put myself out there, and that's where I started. Unfortunately for me, and my company shifting my schedule constantly (and now working nights and every weekend) I've had to scrap my plans for going out there and making new friends. But if your schedule permits, why not? If you can't find anything out there, maybe start something yourself...on Craigslist. A book club, a game group, a theatre-going circle. Keep trying. :) Don't be discouraged...and even though we're only cyber-people, we like you here! :)

That's the thing though, even online, people still act like I don't belong. I don't get what I'm doing wrong. I've never really thought about doing a site like that, but my dad would probably whoop my a** if I did it and he found out. He's very strict and mean and he thinks that I'm not grown enough to make my own decisions.

I really feel for you and I share your experience. I have no friends where I live either. The few I had distance themselves as soon as they feel I am sliding into depression and health problems. I know that fun people are easier to be around but sometimes you just want a listening ear and a hug! I am sending you lots of hugs and courage to keep trying to meet new friends.

Thanks. My roommate at my military boarding academy thinks I'm creepy and psychotic. He told me tonight that I'm a freak and that he's scared I'm going to put a hex on him. I don't get how I'm so different here when we all look the same. No piercings, no long hair, no normal clothes. So how do I stand out so much that I'm a freak?

I was watching a TV documentary recently where it was shown that good communication is not always what you say. Body language, inflection in your voice is often picked up and 'judged' on, than the words (just shows why there are so many misunderstanding when all you can do is type here)
I noticed from your profile that you are gay, do you think people are homophobic and are picking up on that?
I wonder that if you are in a military accademy, you might get worse treatment by ignorant people than if you were in a non military enviroment.
It's just a thought and I'm sorry if I am wrong.
I hope you find decent people who like you for who you are and not for any other reason.
(hugs)

It's very likely that homophobia may be a reason why some people are anti-me. My roommate is bi-sexual and so I know his reasons for calling me a freak have nothing to do with my sexuality. I hate being here at the military academy, but I'm stuck here. I got forced into it and have no say in the matter. It's unfair treatment here and I'd much rather be in a normal high school. Their policy is much like the military itself when it comes to gays; don't ask, don't tell, but when you come off in a feminine manner it's kind of hard for them not to judge you on your sexuality. I can't change the way I present myself though. I have feminine features in my face and body and even though I dress like any other guy, I still come off as very feminine. I have a really good friend who I adore and he adores me back, but I'm not allowed to talk to him anymore and if my dad ever found out I was talking to him (which I am against his wishes) he'd probably kill me (far from exaggerating). My dad thinks that it's that friends fault I'm gay and apparently he thinks military school will "fix" me.