Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Really feelin hopeless today. there are awful things happening to good people around me, while I am safe and well taken care of. Yet my ugly selfishness always has to come through and instead of being compassionate (which I am on the outside) on the inside I just keep thinking about me and I hate myself even more. I hate myself because I know it should be me that's suffering. Because I know I'm just not a good person. I cant stop, I don't stop. I know my thinking is all wrong but I guess my brain just wants to keep me in this never ending cycle. These People who are suffering are coming back to their abusers with kindness, showing all the civility that they can. Killing with kindness. I feel like I could never be the bigger person. I just let the hurt take over. I just know I wasn't meant to be here.
I always feel the definition of a good person is one who does not hurt others. it doesn't sound like you go out of your way to hurt others. so not really sure why you would think you are not a good person. I've seen your posts, you seem to be pretty decent.
As far as the others go, they are in charge of their own destiny. you seem to think they don't deserve what they get, but then apparently they go back to their abusers.
I have a saying, you are only a victim once, after that, you are a contributor. Everyone has the ability to say no. I was in an abusive relationship for many years with someone I truley loved. But I had to make a decision to love myself and my children first and leave. Yes I left behind stupid amounts of money and financial security for life. We struggle now while he lives in a big well furnished home, but at least we now have peace of mind.
You are not a bad person for saying no to others, you are just protecting yourself, the others who have so much shit, need to learn to say no more.
I don't know if this is purley relevent. but I hope it makes sense.
Just know, you are not alone in how you feel. ~Nay
You do not deserve to be in pain
Thinking of you