Nothing you have said sounds stupid.

Grief is aweful. My friend lost her father and another friend lost her husband.

I'm truly sorry for your losses. Can you take bereavement time from work or does work help you get through it?

Along with sounding very real, the challenges you have shared sound very familiar to me.

Many of my greatest hopes for the future died when my mother died several years ago, and now stress, anxiety and depression have seemed to be my lot ever since. I still have hope for the future, however, as I believe our real challenge is to endure to the end in right fellowship with others and worship of our Maker no matter how alone we might be or feel for the duration.

I agree with SoulSearcher83; nothing you said sounds stupid. It is real, it is raw, and it is unfiltered. And those 3 things are really at the core of getting started at getting better.

I am so very sorry for your losses.

I lost my sister about 5 years ago, her 2 children were about your age. It hit them hard, a sign that they really loved their mother. And I believe that you really loved your father.

I would like to invite you to join the bereavement group. You can find a link in my profile. That is a good place, we have suffered all sorts of losses there, and the support is real.

Getting over losses can be hard, but with the right road map it is easier. If you have not attended a bereavement class taught by a professional please consider doing so. They can expose you to so many different ways of dealing with grief that you should be able to start to formulate the plan that works for you.

Grief is like depression, there is not a single plan that works for everybody!

One thing that I have learned about life is that people are not like machines. If a machine breaks, you find the broken part(s) and replace them with new ones and the machine works again.

No single person can every replace your dad; just like no single person can replace my niece/nephew's mom.

So what we do is to rearrange things. Your future hubby can take some of the part of your dad's role in your life, as can (depending on other things) your mother, perhaps aunts and uncles. Maybe even somebody in your church choir can be the person who always thanks you for your singing!

It is a "new normal" that we seek. And we can't find it unless we start to look for it.

Gentle hugs

First and foremost, I am sincerely sorry for your losses. Having lost so many ppl in such a short timespan is an extremely difficult cross to bear.

In a short amount of time, I lost my best friend to bone cancer, my aunt to brain cancer, my grandfather to old age, and my beloved dog who I've had for 15 years.

What i've learned in therapy is when you have losses back-to-back, you haven't had "enough time to properly grieve" before the next loss comes. At least in my case, when I thought I was only grieving my dog, it turned out i was grieving all the losses simultaneously and I shut down physically and emotionally for months.

It's not a silly post in the least or stupid. The fact that you loved your father so much that you couldn't walk down the aisle is when the grief was kicking in (at least in some form) and it doesn't feel fair that he's not there. (it wasn't)

U R GOING THRU A LOT OF GRIEF RIGHT NOW.
HANG IN THERE.........................................................
GBU AND PRAYING 4 U.........................
DRENA B
;-O

Your post doesn't sound stupid in any way or form. Right now as I'm writing this post, I feel tears welling up in my eyes because like you it seems like everything that made me comfortable has gone; not everything or every person but I'm still grieving over a lot that had happened in my life. It's to the point that it's hard to feel positive within yourself again because there is a fear there that claims your happiness. If this makes since. I don't know how much more bad news I can take. Today, my mom and brother and myself went out for a walk, while we were out, we stopped to read papers taped on the windows, it read "50% off on everything in the store, going out of business". We were stunned when we read that because the man who owns the antique store had just lost his wife to cervical cancer on December the first. The last time we went to shop in his store (which was two weeks ago), he was not planning to go out of business. He told us then that he planned to redo his kitchen in his house (the one he shared with his wife). He had it all planned out in what he was going to do. He was renting the building from a landlord who decided to sell the building for more money. So now it seems like it's a double whammy for this friend. He lost his wife, now the business, his health is bad, and he suffers from post traumatic stress because of being in the war. When he was in the war, one of the enemies stood over him and shot bullets into his body and left him to die.

*Hugs*

I feel your pain 100%

everything you said is real honest grieving. goes in stages. Some of my worse days of depression and sadness was months after they were gone. So nothing you said is weird what so ever. Hugs for your losses. to close together, so sad.

So very sorry for your loss. :( I have no idea how awful it must be, to lose three much loved people, and one of them be dad.

I can only say that time will help. Time and crying are the only cure for grief that I know.

I want to add, another reason I can relate with you, is because in Thanksgiving of 2015, our lives had taken a change for the worse because of death. I am grieving too myself, what you are describing is normal feelings one get when they are struck with awful pain like this. Yesterday after I came home, from a walk, I thought about the sadness that hit me, it was of a friend. When tragic strike, the person often feels tired, not motivated anymore, and full of tears. That's what I felt, full of tears and fear.

If anyone ever say to me that I'm dumb for feeling the way I do, I will say to them "how would you feel if certain things happened to you all at once?".

I thought that when things were going smoothly, I felt like a strong person and nothing or no one can stand in my way but now I feel weakened down.

Hugs! This does not sound stupid at all. I was at my mom's bedside in July when she passed away from cancer. By November, I had also lost my uncle (mom's only surviving brother), his oldest son, and lastly....one of my best friends. My dad and my youngest brother are also gone. So while I don't know your pain, I am only too familiar with grief. Grief and depression together are difficult, to say the least. Your grief is still so new....and everything you are feeling is normal. Have you considered talking to a professions to help you deal with some of this?

* professional....not professions

Rainer: What you said about not having a chance to over things because it happens so fast. I agree with you because that is how my life had been like. Last week and this past weekend, I've seemed to be okay until Tuesday. After that day, I've felt emotional mostly during the evening time. I've felt like tears and my mind keep swimming with thoughts constantly. I still have that feeling of tears today. I don't feel the same as I used to feel in the last seven years, I feel because of stress from health, anger, family issues, deaths; depression, a friend have to close his store and other negative issues, life has been quite unstable. It's the three of us who live here, one person wants to move away; it's so intense here at home. I wish I can go back in time when we were hardly home. Mom was on a great health insurance. In the insurance, they held picnics for people, even the cab drivers were giving food. Mom was served on the board group for that company, and she served on two others plus she had nothing but good news whenever she went to a doctor appointment (unlike today).

I AM TURLY SORRY FOR ALL YOUR LOSSES NOTHING YOU SAID IS STUIPD*SILLY ETC. WE ARE REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL FEELING TO BE HERE TO SUPPORT SORRY FOR USING CAPS MY EYES ARE NOT GOOD WHEN TOLD ALMOST BLIND.
I AM CRYING FOR YOU & OTHERS RIGHT NOW AS I JUST LOST SOMEONE I LUVED VERY DEARLY TOOK THERE OWN LIFE & I'M ALSO A CANCER SURVIOR OF 20 YEARS ON FIRST ONE 14 YEARS ON 2ND ONE & 11 YEARS ON LOSING KIDNEY & AT THE TIME OF MY FIRST ONE I WAS DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF MY NEICE'S DEATH AT THE AGE OF ONLY 11 I COULDN'T BE HERE FOR MY YOUNGER SISTER AS I WAS CLEAR IN ANOTHER STATE GETTING READY TO GO THRU MAJOR SURGERY THEN KNOW LONGER HOME LESS THAN 2 WEEKS AFTER I GET A CALL FROM 2 AUNTS THINKING THEY HEARD ABOUT ME GOING THRU CANCER & NIECE DIED NOPE THEY CALLED TO LET ME KNOW I HAD JUST LOST ONE OF MY GRANDMA'S SO TO BE ABLE TO HAVE TO TELL THEM ABT ME & MY NIECE WAS SO VERY HARD THEY DID NOT KNOW SO A YEAR LATER IM GETTING READY FOR A HUGE MOVE BACK TO HOME STATE STILL TRYING TO RECOVER I GET A CALL MY YOUNGER SISTER THAT LOST HER ONLY DAUGHTER WAS NOW FIGHTING FOR HER OWN LIFE SHE WAS IN SERIOUS CAR ACCIDENT COMING UP WITH A FREIND THAT LOST A CHILD FOR THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO THE CHILDEN'S HOSPITAL SHE WAS FLOWN FROM THE CAR & BROKE HER NECK THE OTHER LADY WASN'T HURT SHE WAS THE ONE DRIVING NOT MY SISTER IT HURT SO MUCH I COULDN'T BE HERE FOR THEM SO WHEN MY DEAREST GRAMMIE I GREW UP WITH DIED I WAS STILL IN RECOVERING OF LOSING KIDNEY & THIS IS WHEN I GOT TO SHARE THE MOMENT WITH MY YOUNGER SISTER AS MY MANDY IS RIGHT BY MY GRAMMIE MY SISTER HAD TO WALK AWAY IT WAS THE HARDEST THING FOR US TO SHARE FINALLY AS WE HAD A BOND SHE WAS ONLY 2 WEEKS YOUNGER THAN ANOTHER SPECIAL FAMILY MEMBER THEN YEARS LATER WAS A CAREGIVER TO 2 THAT DIED HERE 8 MONTHS APART ONE DUE TO ALTIMERZERS & DEMENTIA & THE OTHER ONE WAS LUNG CANCER & RIGHT NOW ALSO DEALING WITH YOUNGER HAS CANCER & JUST FOUND OUT OLDER SISTER HAS HAD A HEART ATTACK MY PLATE IS OVER FULL BUT WHAT I SAY IS I AM VERY PROUD OF WHO I AM ALL THIS HAS MADE ME SO MUCH STRONGER THAN I EVEN REALIZE AT TIMES & YOU ALL KEEP ME GOING*I LEARN TO CHERISH ALL THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE & STOP & SMELL THE ROSES ALONG THE WAY & OH THEY SMELL OH SO GOOD I WILL NOT LET ANY OF THIS BEST ME I WILL BEAT IT*I'M SO VERY BLESSED TO KNOW EACH ONE OF YOU*NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON HOPE.
NO NEED TO BE SORRY HERE FOR YOU YOUR NOT ALONE.


(.. *`*.
(` ) ..*
.......* .* *
*`
***BLESSINGS*LUV*ANGEL***

As all the others have stated, there is nothing stupid about what you're saying. And, I also have an inkling of how you feel.

On reflection about this past 6 months, I lost my brother in May due to complications from Dementia and the time before that was even more difficult in dealing with what to do and when; It took a lot out of me.

Then my best friends/neighbor told me that they were moving to Denmark (with their 1 year old toddler) in August. It's a wonderful choice for them, but I was saddened to lose them. I had another friend commit suicie in July. And the worst, really, for me was the sudden passing of my cat, Coonie, a big, beautiful Maine Coon which made me never want to get out of bed.

So, like you, I cry a lot, and have turned to drinking to much so as not to feel (I would not advise that). I'm struggling to stop and put one step in front of the other until perhaps someday life will have some meaning for me.

You're not alone; and am truly sorry for your losses.

I hope you were not told that you are absolutely crazy for griefing over a lost one. That's what my mom was told, she was told that they were going to admit mom because of her sadness of over the family members who died back in Thanksgiving. I find what makes it hard is that there was one thing after another, wasn't giving a chance to deal with one situation at a time.