She can not leave you with all the debt just because you make more money.I lost my spouse because of my illness. I made more money than him and he had to pay because of my illness. she will only get away with what you allow her to get away with.CA is a 50 50 state.

wow this must be really hard for you! did she even try to make it work? i think the first thing you need to do i figure out your rights in this situation. its not fair that she expects you to pay her bills, i can understand child support but heck.... there is a line!

(((((hug)))))

No children to support. She just wants money to live apart from me with her new obligations. We have a court hearing next week and we'll see what the judge determines.

She never really tried to make it work. On two different occasions I can home and she had moved out. The first time I took all of the blame and she came back. The second I'm not taking all of the blame although I know I'm not perfect. She has not spoken to me since she left. Only emails asking about finances.

if there are no kids why would you owe her? give her nothing till u meet the judge.

She thinks I owe her because she does not make enough to live on her own. She works for a non-profit and does not make much money. In my court papers I suggested that she go out and get a real job so she can support herself.

obviously she's being a bit unfair if theres no kids involved. if she wants to leave you then why should her bills be your problem?!

back to your question:

"Has anyone her lost a spouse because of their illness?"

Yes .. many have. Some have lost a spouse and everything else.

Clinical depression CAN destroy everything.

i was married for 16 yrs to my high school sweetheart and we divorced, partly because he couldn't live with me being a "psycho" as he called me. ripped the family apart..our kids were 11 and 14 at the time. that was in 96 and nothing has ever been the same, at least i haven't.

Having two adults divorce is bad enough but I can't imagine what it would do to kids. My sympathies are with you.

Wow, very sorry you're dealing with this. I agree with the others about the support...unless she's disabled or has another valid reason why she can't make a livable wage, there's no reason you should have to support her.

I've lost relationships to this crap, yes. It's a horrible thing, and WV's right, it can destroy just about everything in your life. Although I have to say, while I can definitely sympathize with the spouse of somebody with depression (I was hell to live with), your wife doesn't sound like she even made an effort. So tragic.

As much as it hurts, maybe this is just a case of a person's true personality coming through when things get rough. Very sorry that it happened to you, but I believe you'll move past it with time, and perhaps see that she might not have been the person you believed her to be.

Big hugs to you, and good luck getting through this.

Hey, Gribitt, sorry to hear that your wife is leaving. To protect herself from your depression? Sounds awful. But don't let her take advantage of you in this.

Well that is a good question. My husband tells me that I am ruining our marriage. He tells me that our 21 year old daughter doesn't come home at night because of me, my 16 year old son spends his time in his room playing guitar because of me. And because I sleep on the couch it means that I don't love him.

Sorry you are going through this.Just try and remember that when one door closes another one always opens........