I've never lost a family member, so I don't know what it's like at all. And at the moment it's important that you grieve, you have to think about her. You have to cry for her. But instead of thinking about why she isn't here now, think about the memories you made with her that she would want you to think about. Nothing I can say can make this go away, but at this stage, remember her. I wish you good luck.

thank you. it's just really hard. hard to do anything, get out of bed, eat, drink, it all just seems so tiring these days

Let it be tiring. If there's one thing I've learnt, is that you have to analyse the situation and realise that you can't go around setting yourself 100% tasks. At the moment your pros sky oppressing at a 20% power level. Don't set your self 100% goals for a 20% day. A 20% goal is getting out of bed, having 1 meal. Do not expect much of yourself, work at your own pace, accept the fact that your power level is going to be low for a while now, I hope this helps, it helped me

This helped quite a bit, thank you

Thank you, I will most certainly read it. I really appreciate the recommendation

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs.

Be gentle with yourself through this and only do what you feel like you can do for that day or that moment. Grief can make us sick so it's very important you take care of yourself and let everything around you go. Hugs.

I lost my sister about 4 years ago; we were good siblings, but not of the "talk every day on the phone" sort of siblings.

I think that when we hide aspects of the passing, it creates a cave where we have to deal with those aspects of the passing all by ourself. I am curious, why are you hiding the overdose aspect of her passing? Are you trying to protect her, or you?

Bereavement is a complex thing. People like to talk about the stages of grief, but to me that is counter productive. That sort of implies that you get one shot at "passing" each stage, and if you go back and do it again you have somehow failed.

I like to think of it as the emotions of grief. If you think that you have passed the anger emotion, but find you get angry again, then odds are that you have just been handed an "anger trigger" that is somehow different than the previous ones you dealt with. Rather than feel like you failed because you are angry again, take some comfort in knowing that you dealt with anger before, and you can deal with it again.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

gentle hugs

I never really thought of it like that. To be honest, I don't know who I'm trying to protect. I mean, towards the end she wasn't the same sister that I was best friends with. She was different, but I still loved her the same. But I also think I am protecting myself because being open about it makes it real and I'm not ready for that, I'm not ready to really face the fact that she's gone