Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Lost

i_made_it
i_made_it

My brother committed suicide in May of 2108. I'm still living with my parents (19) and I've been staying at friend's houses for a good two or three weeks. I still come home every day but I go back out every night. The reason why is because my house is too painful to be in. My brother use to sleep the room I sleep in, we have thousands of memories in every inch of this house. I can't stand to be alone here at night without wanting to have a mental break down. Some night is better than others but most of the time it's the same feeling. I just told my parents about it because my dad asked why I needed to keep staying with my friends... They both were quiet and they said that they understood and weren't upset but I can't help to feel like I upset them. I know what I said didn't make them happy and it probably hurt them but I don't want them to think that I don't love them. I told them that too. I have horrible anxiety so coming out with my feelings like this make me want to vomit and gives me panic attacks. 

RJW
RJW
Thank you for sharing. Depression and Anxiety does make us think the worst, far too often. I know of one, who was abused. They haven't been in that relationship for over two years, yet still controlled by the fear of that other person. It takes time to recover from tragedic things. Your parents do understand, and just are waiting for you to heal. You aren't hurting them. They are just respecting you in giving you space to heal at your own rate. Once those tragedic feelings heal, you can remember the good memories, and know you were lucky to have the time you did with a wonderful person. My deepest condolences on your loss. I hope this made sense. Thank you. God Bless.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
Your grief is completely understandable. I really believe you would benefit from grief counseling. You have suffered a devastating blow.

Seek grief counseling. It is completely appropriate. Might mention it to your parents too.

I am sorry this has happened to you and your family.
shadowlady
shadowlady
So sorry about the loss of your brother. That was tremendously painful I know. Sharing your feelings here is good. Kudos for talking to your parents even though it was hard. I'm sure they experience painful memories too, and don't want to hurt you. I think grief counseling is a good idea for all of you too. Ill keep you all in prayer. God bless you ..
sunandbutterflies
sunandbutterflies
I am sorry for the loss of your brother and the anxiety that you have felt about staying at home. Trauma is real, and I am sure that your parents understand the pain that you are feeling. Even though it was difficult, you did tell your parents how you were feeling. I am so glad that you were able to do that. Hopefully their reactions and more open sharing with them will help you to have less anxiety about sharing with them what is going on. When you are going through something like this, it is really important to have a good support system. I am glad that you have friends who are supporting you, but know that your parents can be a good support too. Have you tried seeing a counselor or joining a grief support group? I have heard that Griefshare is good, and maybe your counselor or others on the forum can suggest some additional groups that may be helpful.