I'm so sorry to hear that your girlfriend is going through that emotional pain and also sorry to hear how it is impacting you emotionally. Speaking from the point of view of someone with depression, I'm sure it means the world to her that you are standing by her, even if she has a hard time expressing that right now. I know that everyone's experience with mental illness is different, but with my depression, I sometimes feel like I'm just a burden and I'm not worthy of having people love and support me; rationally speaking, I know that this is not the case and these are just lies my brain is trying to convince me of because of the depression, but it truly does get difficult sometimes because the depression makes me feel these ways about myself and sometimes those feelings are hard to shake off. Anyways, back to your situation, I am glad that you are reaching out and talking about it because finding support from others can help you whether you are the one dealing with depression, or if you are the one who has a loved one who is depressed. I personally can perceive how both parties in your situation would be feeling (as someone with depression and anxiety, as well as someone who's mother has bipolar and has experienced depression throughout my entire life, so I know what it is like to love someone who has mental illness). Though it can be emotionally draining at times to provide support to someone who is feeling so hopeless, I hope it provides you some comfort to remind yourself just how meaningful that support must be for your girlfriend. Maybe try to continue reminding and reassuring her of how much you love and care for her, even through these hard times; let her know that she is not a burden and that this diagnosis does not make you view her any differently, etc. (if that is how you are truly feeling, obviously). Finally, don't forget the importance of self-care for yourself; taking care of your own emotional needs is crucial. I'm wishing you both well.

Wow thank you for your advice it means a lot to hear it come from someone who’s experienced depression first hand. Im definitely gonna keep reminding her that she’s not a burden and that I love even the person she is now, although it’s significantly different than the person I fell in love with. I find myself falling into a dark place with her. Things have taken a 360 in the past month and she doesn’t call me, there’s a little affection, and know I know she doesn’t really care if I leave or not because she doesn’t feel anything right now. I want to drop out of school and not pursue my career in Criminal Justice because this has questioned what I can handle in life. I’m trying to stay grounded and not get emotional about our relationship changing bc I know it will only push her further away. It’s hard to know who I’m supposed to be for her? Do I need to lean more towards being there and trying to be her friend or staying connected, holding her hand, kissing her. What’s the most therapeutic way to help her?

Just go with what you're best able to handle for the given time. But staying with her and loving her is a good thing. Please take care of yourself too. I think you both can come out of the situation feeling better and even more in love with each other. My personal experience with my now ex wife was not as supportive. I own the major part of that past with her. I never bothered to ask her for more support. Still it created a rift that exists to this day. Your love and support could make a huge in her recovery. Things can and do improve for others all the time. Hopefully they can improve for both of you as well. I wish you the best. Big hugs to you both.

Thank you for the reassurance. My heart is breaking and she’s rifting further and further away..

My husband of 17 years has chronic depression. My suggestion is to just show her your support and love.

Sometimes verbal declarations of love can be overwhelming and more stress inducing when in the throes of depression. It can bring on more guilt and feelings of being undeserving of such love and also more feelings of being a burden.

My suggestion is to be quietly close at hand - close enough to catch her if she takes a big tumble, but far enough away for her to be able to focus on her and not worry about you and how her dark place is effecting you.