I'm glad that you reached out - I wish I knew how to give you purpose in life or to give you that strength you need. I'm glad you're still here and still trying even though it is really difficult. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. True, depression can be a life long battle, but you do have SOME days where it's less overwhelming, right? Those are the days to hold on to! the moments that make it worthwhile. The source of your strength. I hope you have more of those moments *hug* what you're going through really sucks.

Sorry for the way you are feeling. Please don't do anything to harm yourself. You are a worthy person who deserves to have a happy life. Are you receiving any professional help or therapy or medication? If not you may consider seeing a professional doctor who can refer you to a therapist or a counselor. Continue to post on this site where you will find others who can relate to you. They will listen and offer support. Don't give up.

No I'm not receiving any help I've never been down this low in my life where I want to cut the vain. I've been depressed before but not this bad. I have notes for my mom and things plan out. It's so dark and I want to jump.

Please don't do it. There is so much good waiting for you, though I know it's hard to see right now and may not come immediately. You have to reach out for help. Meds could help you but at the very least a good counselor or group where you can release what you're feeling is a must. Don't isolate yourself, it's dangerous. I promise you, you would break hearts if you did jump. Just fight another day. Burn those notes. Don't let the devil win. Praying for you, EmilyRose.

ive been there too. i tried to end it all about a year ago. it wasn't the right decision. i'm so happy it didn't work. try and stay strong. don't think too far ahead, just stay strong and get through this day. and then try and do the same thing tomorrow. come on here and message me-im recovering from surgery so i'll be at my computer basically any time you want to chat. do you want to talk about it? tell us a little bit of your story? it can be the hardest thing in the world, but you can get through this. and there really are good and loving people who want to help lift you up-everyone here unconditionally wants you to feel better and we support you no matter what. please stay strong. sending prayers and love your way EmilyRose xx

I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for about 18 years. I also struggled with it in childhood. I didn't realize till I went to college how the other half lived for I grew up on a farm and didn't get out much. Taking meds was life changing. Meds have definitely helped me. I recently started talking with my dr. And therapist about how I self harm. I was recently prescribed a med and that has helped with that as well. I also go to to therapy too. My suggestion is to reach out to others. for me it works best with people who don't know me personally. Please don't end it or hurt yourself! There is help out there!!! I have been there too. Sending hugs!

you came to this planet to experience certain things. no right or wrong...all experiences. maybe this darkest night of your soul is but one experience....you feel it. and it is horrible.... but maybe you are also meant to experience climbing out of that deep, dark hole inch by inch. maybe we are meant to be used as tools to help you climb out...take our hands...we'll pull...if you have no energy to move, we'll still pull. together, we can pull you up little by little, but you must reach up and let us.... let others help... and then, dear beautiful soul, you will have experience hell on earth, and coming up out of hell....and then you will be able to experience pulling someone else up from their dark night of the soul...and that experience will feel amazing.

take my hand. it's dark where you are, but not dark everywhere. and hey, if you want or need to stay there in that darkness a bit longer, i'm coming down there too to just sit with you. hold you or maybe we can play a game of cards....or make some food. or watch Netflix. :)

here for you. you are such a good soul. i want you to know i see you... all the way to your core..i see you, and you are freaking amazing. perhaps you forgot that somewhere along this life journey.

love you

Hi EmilyRose - I am so, so sorry for the darkness you are experiencing. I stood in the exact same place that you are now within the past year, and it is absolute torture. I understand and empathize with your emotions and thoughts within them, and in honesty I experience much of the same kinds of feelings more often than I would readily admit to most people. I want you to know, as many here have said before me, that you are stronger than you may believe. You are a unique, beautiful important person who means more than you may think to your friends, family, and the world. We are all here for you, as we have known the darkness you walk in.

Here's what I hold onto in these empty, hopeless times: I have met so many wonderful, compassionate, amazing people in my life. If I leave this world, not only will I inflict pain on the ones I care most deeply about, but I will also never be able to experience these kinds of relationships ever again. And that, I believe, is a far more frightening circumstance. In addition, I would never be able to see with my own eyes the beauty of my greatest passion - Nature and birds - ever again. Always remember why you are here; the things and the ones you care about, and the happiness that comes from the ability to see and take in all of those wonderful things.

Birdie