Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
The last week or two has been interesting. My grandfather is on his deathbed with liver cancer, I have to spend a week at an independent living camp without my music because no electronics there. And so obviously no mp3. My music is my coping skill, it keeps me sane. It's how I shut out the world and it's bullshit. Tonight I got depressed out of nowhere and was danger close to breaking a pencil or something like that just so I could cut.. and I am just slowly losing it. I've been an emotional wreck lately.. I keep listening to my 'cutting music' playlist because when i feel depressed it may be weird. But. It's how I keep myself alive...
My advice is take it one day at a time. It was a mostly painless death. The first part, he knew he was going to die, but was more or less okay. ....This is your chance to say the last things that you want to say. Don't worry if things get left "unsaid"...it's a given that there WILL be things. It just is what it is, appreciate the time for what it is. (the first 5 months or so)
Then he started eating less and less. He got progressively weaker...fast. He wasn't himself. Toxins built up in his body and he was confused. At one point he thought I was his mother..... If you want it...this is your chance to take care of HIM...to give back. (about 6-8 weeks)
At the end, he just wasn't eating or drinking, nor getting out of bed. He looked like someone from a concentration camp. But he wasn't suffering. He was comfortable. It was definitely harder for those of us still healthy. (about 2-3 weeks)
If you're helping with the day-to-day care of him...perhaps you can help with those who are doing the work? (If there are issues with those who are doing the work...then I understand. My mother was an absolute monster during the time my father was dying. She had gotten rid of every last scrap of his life before he even died. She insisted that I take his blasted undershirts...while he was lying there dying. I bit my tongue more than I can count.)
What I can say...is that you WILL make it through it. You are young. Death is part of life. There are far, far worse deaths. It wasn't painful, and although HE looked awful, he didn't suffer. All in all...not a bad way to go.
Hugs to you all.