you are never truly alone, especially now that you are here. you will find individuals who know what depression really is. we are all on the same boat, so join in and don't be ashamed to drop a few lines if the need arises.

Welcome to the group. I am glad you are able to share these things. It can be tough sometimes to share, so thank you for being brave.

Thank you

Welcome to the group. Thank you for sharing with us. You will find many people on this site who feel the say way you do. People who have never been depressed are unable to understand how depression can make you feel. We are here for you.

I understand how you feel. Try not to be so hard on yourself. It is hard being a mother and a wife. We try to give out best at all times with few thank yous. I just want to offer you encouragement and hope. I believe in God so I pray that he gives me wisdom and courage and a future and a hope. Hope this helps you.

Hello im here new aswell.
I totally understand you because thats exactly how u feel and i been lately wanting to be in my room aswell but know i found a text support 24/7 and i was referred here hoping we can all find the help and inner peace we need and deserve my name is Bella pleasure to meet u know u have a friend here your not alone

what was the 24/7 text support?

I have a few days a month where I don't even recognize myself and am bombarded with negative thoughts and cannot stop the tears as if everything that has ever hurt in my life comes flooding back all at once and I can't stop. And I can't call anyone or do anything because of the shame people have made me feel when I cry. It's my process, but I find that I'm unable to do so much anymore, therefore it makes sense why everything that is bottled up is felt at the same time and sometimes I don't feel like I will ever stop feeling that way, even though in reality I know it will pass. Every second of going through those emotions is torture and I never know what to do because it feels like it won't stop ever. I have PMDD which starts at ovulation and goes until day 1 of my period. The worst of the emotional torture happens usually 1-2 days before getting my period and for most of my life I've never seen the pattern. I just feel so crazy, then get my period and accept it as the reason but somehow forget how badly it made me feel. This year I have been at my worst and for 2-3 cycles, had a shorter cycle, therefore my episodes were closer together. I find it scarier as I have become introverted. I used to see friends much more often but because I have been suffering from chronic fatigue and chronic pain, I stopped doing what I usually do because it is just too much. My kids suffer as a result and don't get out of the house as much as they should. I don't know how to get out of this cycle. Ob-gyn says that an IUD may help but it is not a promise. IF there are no other options, what then? more medication? My psychiatrist hasn't been helpful in this department either. It's as if unless they have experienced this in their lifetime, they don't treat it with the same sense of urgency. Feeling hopeless...

Oh yes Depression is a demon in my life also! My grandson died in 2001 of SIDS and I find for no reason at all my mood will swing and I just have to have a good cry (usually in the shower) to make it to where I can start my day. Holidays are always the worst for us who suffer from this demon.
But that is the key…get out there, get busy, and see that life is still good out there. And..Count your blessings for what you have. Years ago my granddaughter(she suffers with anxiety attacks) and I started keeping a "Grateful Journal". We write 10 things we are grateful for every morning before starting our day. I really think that has helped both of us more than anything. Praying God will give you the strength to carry on.

The 24/7 text help is 741-741. Just text home to that number. National suicide hotline has online chat, but when I tried to use it I waited 45 minutes and then got no one. The text replied fast. They referred me here. I too think my moods are related to my monthly cycle, but it seems to be a complete mystery to doctors how to handle it.

I understand.

You are not alone.

Cherished, I left a comment to someone on here named Clynn and the other's who try to share a kind word. I get that. I am not being negative at all. I so get why people tell other people to hang in there. I've heard it all my life. I read the first line where you mentioned you lost your grandson to SIDS. Very sorry. I myself lost my son in 1986 to SIDS. I was only 15 and when I was pregnant my son's father was killed. And there's way more before that and way way more after that. I've been dealing with bad things since I was 4 years old. Afraid.. FEAR, period. I was 11 when I had my first panic attack and it's been on ever since. Not a one day break did I ever get. Through the years when an illness doesn't go away you start to develope other illnesses as I did. All the talking, medication and everything under the sun never helped. So as I said in my other post there is no help nor hope when your in that deep. My life is nothing but a living hell.. I am the walking dead. I don't even know why I was born. All I do is suffer. And because of that I cannot work. I can barely go to a store without feeling sickly. I have a son but he is no help and I don't want to put my issues on him. But he gives me a lot more to worry about because he's doing bad for his age. He a bum so to speak. As much as I want him away from me because that is what he needs, for me to do the tough love it's hard. Where I come from nothing is good in the streets. So I have to deal with argument's, slammed doors, and told that it's all me and much more because I couldn't handle it if anything happened to him. I have no other family. Better yet, we don't talk at all. That saying the black sheep of the family fits me very well. I'm getting tired now. There's sooo much to say that when I talk about these things I actually get exhausted.. This is very exhausting. Same ol talk all the time.

DeniseDee I am so sorry for all the pain and suffering you have gone through. I know I don't have the answers because I have not suffered as you have, but I know others that have. We have a group in our area that is called Celebrate Recovery (google it). They have helped an awful lot of people who had been on the brink of disaster in one way or another- drugs, alcohol, depression, illness (they call it hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Praying that you and your son can find the love and help that you need for your day to day struggle.

Hey, I also felt crushed when my teenager avoided me, there are good people here. Keep coming here every day when you can. This place has helped me for years, then on days when your feeling up to it, you can help others. It's a good feeling.

I have horrible periods. Always have. I'm on the pill with the 4x a year period but I skip that week bc the break even on pills is unbearable. Makes depression worse. I bet the iud, pill or the shots would help you tremendously. My dumbass conservative parents didn't put me on it so I missed school and stayed in bed for 8 hours at a time. College came, got the pill and problem is gone.