I have undiagnosed Bi-polar symptoms..well to know me is to probably make a damn good guess that this is what I am dealing with,,,it is a question to medicate or not medicate ,,,and that is the question..I chose the latter for a variety of reasons...not the least of which is that things are tough enough as they are and I needn't make them worse with a false sense of feeling that things are just fine and going along swimmingly,,when I know or feel that they are lacking ...Motivation is a big big part of this and it has become my number 1 stumbling block,,,if I can get by this I feel that I will have really achieved a great step forward..Right now ...I am not there...and I am struggling with it ...

Right now... I am on unemployment, no girlfriend,,, feeling pretty blue much of the time...I attend support groups for a variety of situations in an attempt to take me out of myself and to air my dirty internal laundry in a social environment...I am ok with this...I know that I am not the only one in this situation and it is comforting to know this to some degree...

I am not really angry at anyone ..even my former employer,,who did me a kindness in canning me...though he probably doesn't realize it ...I also know that 1 in 7 persons in this country is currrently in dire straights due in very large measure to the economic world we are currently in,,,that is roughly 26 million people +/-...

I am a reasonable person living in a very unreasonable situation..at least form where I sit...hopefully things will improve even if only by the smallest of steps..